Miss Imperfect // L.M.H (#24)

10

SooNa

I sat down in the car being engaged to someone on the phone miles away, her caring voice bombarding through the car and I wished that I hadn't called her earlier.

"Yah, SooNa... How can you not tell such an important thing to me? I'm your mother and I don't even know that. How can you hide this from me for so long? How can you--"

"Mom, calm down for a moment. I'm fine now, aren't I?"

"But I'm not fine! You're such a brat for breaking up with JinYoung, you should've forced him to stay." He was the one who broke up with me, not the other way round. It was his idea to end things with me and I didn't want that.

I looked towards my left and he was looking back at me with those concerned eyes and then motioned to me that I was tearing up a little, I still. can't control my emotions when I talk about my boyfriend whom I call my ex-boyfriend.

"Omma, I'm busy right now. I will call you back later." I hung up and I put down my phone on my lap. I looked at him again who always has his eyes focused on me and me only. "I'm alright."

"Are you sure?" I nodded and I got my bag and then faced him once again. "It's time for me to go to work."

"Do you need my help with supporting you?" I shook my head.

"It's okay, you helped me enough for the past 2 days and I appreciate it a lot. Thanks for your help, MinHyuk ssi." I got out of his car and I closed the car, squatting a little so that I can be on the same level as him who is sitting in the car. "I couldn't have persevered through if not for your help."

"I'm glad." He smiled and that made a funny effect in my heart, it skipped a beat and I can't control it. "Call me anytime if you need help or if you want to have a drinking buddy, I'm just next door." He rolled up the car windows and drove off into the distance with me still staring at me until I couldn't see his car anymore.

I would've been still lying down on the hospital bed if he hadn't forced me to eat whatever that he bought for me, those porridges with fish and abalone and his special bacon and mushroom omelettes for breakfast. He had awesome cooking skills and he cooked it all for me, claiming that hospital food is not delectable at all and it would only ruin my appetite just by staring at it.

I would like to disagree with it but he was right, hospital food wasn't that disgusting until you have stayed in there for a couple of days. It was super bland and the soups are as if cooked with water and nothing else, rather than helping me improve my health, it felt like I would die to eat all that tasteless food. And some idiot even claimed that hospital food is the best thing in the world.

And I managed to get back into shape after the short 2 days of being in the hospital and not being able to do anything on the hospital bed than to only lie down and stare at the ceiling. It was all thanks to my neighbour that did everything for me without expecting anything to return, he came for all 3 meals and only left after I had fallen asleep and he would be there when I wake up the next morning.

I got out of the lift and I was greeted by someone who decided that the best way to welcome me back to work is to give me a big bear hug and suffocate me because of the excessive skinship, I almost had a panic attack only to be saved when a strong arm pulls her away from me. How many times do I have to wash myself to get rid of the bacteria that she transferred to me?

"Do you want Miss Gong to land in the hospital with your carelessness?" JungYeon ssi told her off and she immediately had her head down looking down at the floor. "You do know that she hates physical skin to skin contact and you hugged her without asking for her permission."

I was surprised that I wasn't that mad compared to before, I would've fired her right on the spot if any of my assistants were to get close to me even by an inch. What is with me? 

She starts to apologize repeatedly without even stopping for a second. "Miss Gong, I promise that I will get away from you as much as possible. I'm so sorry!"

"You wouldn't need to apologize. I will let it slide this time but you would have to ask me for my permission the next time if you want to hug me."

She stopped bowing and looked at me with those big puppy eyes. "You would? I thought that you would fire me." She came closer for a hug and I instinctively took one step back. "Oops, can I get a hug from you?"

"Not today. I want you to bring me coffee right now." I said walking to my office and closed the door, heaving a huge sigh of relief. Why did I even allow her to touch me?

I was caught off guard and she took advantage of the moment and hugged me tightly as if I was her stuffed toy, it was the most disgusting feeling ever but it felt a lot different from the different times. I actually felt warmth and cosiness from her hugs and I think that felt great for someone who hated skinship because of the bacteria.

Has that persona not left my body yet? I have not been able to be myself ever since I broke up with him, I did all kinds of weird stuff that doesn't define Gong SooNa. I lived a whole week without having the urge to clean up my apartment and I didn't even bother to shower, I was dirty for a whole week and I didn't mind.

I was a whole mess and I didn't even freak out when I saw strands of hairs in the bathroom this morning. Is this the new me?

And I liked it because I was different. Being a little less of a cleanliness freak changed me for the better as I left the man who made me into a cleanliness freak in my youth.