Miss Imperfect // L.M.H (#24)

32

Minhyuk

I blinked as I looked up at the ceiling, it is rather dark and I think that it could be raining, I looked towards the window and it was pitch black with a hint of artificial lighting from the lamppost to guide people on the streets. It is night time and I have just woken up, I told myself that I would give 2 hours to get my thinking straight because I couldn't achieve what I wanted and I went to bed to help me, but instead, it didn't help me at all and I slept through the entire afternoon without even waking up to check the time.

I looked at the clock on the wall in front of me and it was already 8 pm, SooNa has probably gotten off work and had dinner with herself. She has been really busy because a lot of new cases have been handed to her to take care of after her coworker left the law firm for a better one, it is already very hectic and now she is even busier which gives me lesser time to spend with her.

But it is not like I have a lot of time on my hands either, my entire career works around my life 24/7 and I don't have anyone to report to at work, I work with myself and myself only. There is no one to help me delegate my work too if I have too many things for me to do, no one works for me either as it is not sustainable to live as a artists' assistant or someone who takes care of the artist's well-being, someone who will serve him food 3 times a day and would remind him to stop work for a while in order to have more time to rest.

I have considered getting myself an assistant or a housekeeper to help me around but it is tough looking for either position, I don't have enough money to pay my assistant the salary on time every month since I don't earn money monthly but by project, I would also have to pay my assistant after the end of each project but that would mean that he wouldn't get any money for a good 6 months and no one wants to work that long after getting paid.

If I hire a housekeeper to help me tidy up the house and make sure that my needs are taken off, it is nearly impossible because housekeepers are not your personal helper, they wouldn't want to do that much outside of their job scope and it would be better that I don't hire one at all. And because of that, I have struggled to survive like that the past few years with hectic work life and no love life in order to make ends meet.

Although Gong SooNa takes care of me a lot and makes sure that I get enough sleep, eat enough for every meal and some time for myself as well as a decent social life, she is nothing like a housekeeper, she is my girlfriend and I thank her for doing all of that for me without asking for anything back in return. She sometimes even bring me food that is out of the ordinary and it is not food that I eat on a daily basis, there was once she brought sushi over to my place after work and it was really delicious and what is even more sweet is that she made sure that I get all the good bits and I could focus better on my work after all.

She is literally the greatest gift that I can't get from anywhere else and if I have to return it back to where she truly belongs to, I would gladly do that. She is just way too good for me and I feel that there are better guys out there in the world that she could find, I am not the guy that she will be happy for a long time. She has a stable job at a law firm and she gets her money monthly, she could return home as soon as she is done with work and she has a balanced work and life balance, I have none of that and I hate myself for it.

I hate myself that I am not good enough for her and not being a good boyfriend that she should have, she didn't have much experience dating anyone and I am afraid that she might be wasting time on me because I am not able to give anything good that she wanted. I would have to work much harder to make other guys feel useless competing with me, they are supposed to feel intimidated if they see SooNa with me and I will make sure that I don't disappoint her too much.

I have to, if not I wouldn't even stand a chance to make SooNa happy, all the other guys who are desperate to make her their girlfriend will do that and I am most afraid of that. That would mean that I am a lousy boyfriend and I deserve it.

I walked over to her place and she wasn't at home, she must have spent the evening with her friend. I looked at the messages that she sent to me, I guessed right that she went out with a friend after work and she is coming home right now. So I made my way downstairs and waited for her like a little puppy waiting for its owner to return home and I would jump into her arms as soon as I see her, that is exactly how much I love her.

She arrived in a luxurious car a few minutes after I have waited for her at the basement car park and I don't recognise that car at all. It must be one of her friends that I don't know of, I am not required to know about all of her friends until she is willing to tell me about it. The person got out of the car and she hugs SooNa lovingly, I was just watching the entire scene fold out with a neutral facial expression until I saw the person's face.

I immediately went towards the two of them, pulled SooNa away from her and crashed down on hers and I kissed her like no tomorrow and we are doing it in front of that person and I want that person to see us doing that. That I have completely forgotten about her and our relationship, even the fact that we almost got married before she called off the wedding.