Chapter 4

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"You can't keep doing this to yourself" Jason told his older sister when she came down stairs of her house.

"Well...how else am I suppose to deal with this stupid empty feeling that only Lauren was able to fill when we were together. I know I'm slipping into the habits I was in when I was 13 but I just don't even know Jace. A lots happened in 4 years. This stupid music thing, Lauren leaving, losing grandma and Alaska. It's like everyone I love ends up leaving" Kayla told her younger brother with a few tears falling.

"Hey, don't cry" Jason told her pulling her into a hug. "I'm never, no matter what you do I'm always gonna be here" he told her rubbing circles in his sisters back. "You know I love you"

"I love you too"

"I don't wanna tell you this but, I think it's best if you go to therapy" Jason told her.

"W-what no! I'm not crazy!

"I know you're not but you have to find a way you'll cope with this situation instead of doing drugs"

"No I'm not going! The experts say I'm delirious! I'm just a walking travesty!"

"You need the help"

"No I don't! I'm fine!"

"Okay whatever you say, I'm not gonna make you go, but if you change your mind here the therapist's card" Jason said setting the card on the table.

•••

A bit after her brother left Kayla texted Becky to be ready by 7pm for their date.

It was obvious that she wasn't going to the club tonight with her friends so she told them not to pick her up.

This was the first date she's going on since Lauren broke up with her. For the past month not only she had been getting drunk and high but at times she'd hook up with random girls.

The girl pulled up to Becky's house then walked up to her front door knocking on it. Becky answered and greeted Kayla with a kiss on the cheek. Then two girls headed to an Italian restaurant.

When the date was over Kayla took Becky home. The two kissed at Becky's front door. Kayla felt nothing. She then told Becky it was best of they stayed friend since right now she isn't really looking for a relationship.

•••

Kayla was lying in bed going through twitter when she had a stupid idea of stalking Lauren's account. She did so and found a few pictures that Lauren posted of her and her boyfriend together. She seemed happy but it hurt seeing here.

Kayla still talks to the Cimorelli family at times, mostly Dani. She hasn't seem them in a while and kinda wants it to stay like that.

She stopped looking at Lauren's account once she felt tears rolling down her cheeks. The girl went through her timeline finding pictures of her and Becky walking out of the restaurant together from earlier along with hashtags like

#wemisskayren

#KayrenForever

#KayrenComeBack

#KaylaGetYourGirlBack

#LaurenGetBackWithKayla

I then composed a new tweet.

@KaylaSmithOfficial: I just want her to be happy but it hurts that she is.

A few minuets later #StayStrongKayla was trending worldwide.

I closed the twitter app then went to my photo gallery opening the album of me and Lauren. There was pictures of them from when they were 15 along to the last picture they ever took together, there was also Lauren's selfies she would sent to her.

The photos still lived in her phone, she would like to still look at them. At time she would wonder if what her and Lauren had was real if Lauren seemed to be doing fine, because Kayla wasn't fine at all.

More tears started falling. She wanted to wake up the next day with amnesia to forget the things she would do with Lauren, even the little things.

Kayla got a blunt from the box the bar tender gave her a couple nights ago. When she was half way through it Kayla realized she needed help.

She called the number of the therapist Jason gave her earlier and made an appointment for tomorrow at 5pm.

She hadn't gone to therapy since she was in 8th grade when they would pull her our of class to see the therapist during school hours. Even then she didn't want to the reason she went because her mom made her. This time it was her choice to go.

•••

A/N when do y'all want Kayren to happen?

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