Deadly: A Vampire Fanfiction

Chapter 40

It was one of those nights where, because everything felt perfect, I was afraid that it wouldn't last.
The air just had that still magical quality to it, when I blinked my eyes open in the dark room.
Jimin was in bed with me, sleeping restlessly in his front with his arms tucked under him tightly....
I frowned in the darkness, and looked closer at him.
His hair was soaking wet, and I could see little droplets of water on his bare skin, his back, shoulders, arms.
His eyelids fluttered as he dreamed, and his lips were parted softly in a silent gasp.
I blinked a few times and put a hand over his skin.
It was still dark outside, maybe 1 am.
Jimin shivered in his sleep, as I touched him lightly, wondering why he was wet....
Everything felt still. Dream-like.
Then suddenly Jimin's shivers turned into something more like a shudder. And soon he was shaking, gasping- crying!
My heart lurched in fear as I realized he was once again, having a nightmare. Remembering, maybe....
I was awake now.
I shook him gently, putting my other hand to his face to wake him.
"Little one, Jimin-ssi!" I said.
His eyes flew open and he gasped as he shot up out of bed, arching away from my touch, and getting to his feet.
"Jimin-" I started, and he shook his head wildly.
I watched- my heart still racing- as he bent down over the edge of the bed and put his hands on it, his back curving as he lowered his head.
He was shaking still.
"Baby, what is it?" I begged.
I wanted to hold him....
Jimin gasped. "Afraid, I'm afraid." He whispered.
Regret and self loathing rushed through my body, until I felt small and helpless. I wondered if Jimin felt this bad-
Oh fuck this. Fuck. Why did this have to happen?
"Come here," I pleaded with him.
Please let me hold you. I just want to know we're okay.
Jimin looked up at me, his black hair falling into his eyes. He looked ashen. Haunted. Afraid of his own thoughts.
"I'm so tired of being afraid." He whimpered.
The feel of the room felt like it was balanced on his words. On his breathing.
The universe was paused, as Jimin spoke.
"I miss who I was before it happened." He said suddenly.
"You do?" Was all I could manage.
Was Jimin-ssi really so changed that he didn't recognize himself?
He nods. His dark eyes were fixed on me.
When he straightened back up, I noticed that he was naked. His hair still dripping water...
"Jimin why are you soaking wet?" I asked.
He pursed his lips and his eyes darkened.
I reached out for him, and he flinched, which made my heart ache... but then he got back in bed next to me and I put my arms around him, pulling his head to my chest.
"Please tell me." I said.
I heard and felt him breathe out shakily, and then he mumbled;
"I only feel bad at night now. And I'd rather cry in the shower, than in front of you..."
"You can cry in front of me."
But in my head I said: don't cry. Don't ever cry. I never want you to be this sad.
Jimin nodded slightly. His hair was dripping onto my skin, my collarbone, my neck.
I shivered, but held him closer....
"I'm here." I say to him. "So don't be afraid."
Jimin pauses, then says. "That's not what I mean Taemin."
I don't have enough time to wonder about what he means, or even ask him, because suddenly Jimin's sitting up.
He pulls away from my arms and then tilts his head down to kiss me on the lips.
I feel my heart race, but I still try to calm down....
No, I just want to have you close. Nothing more Jimin, just fall asleep again with you-
But it's like he's a different person. No longer afraid.
His hands are on me, his skin against mine, his lips as well....
My eyes close as he drags my bottom lip between his teeth slowly. The need for him rises again, heating my blood, and I groan.
He touches me slowly, he kisses me slowly, he's pulling me further and further into the mindset of; I'll only feel better, if I have him now.
"Jimin-ssi, stop." I gasp as he tugs on my hair.
I feel his breath against my neck...
"But I want you Oppa." He exhales.
Give in. Let him. Let go.
I sigh, "Me too baby."
Jimin lets out a soft sound, and kisses my neck.
My heart is pounding in my chest. I want to touch him too, but I don't. I just allow him time. I know how much he wants this.
Jimin and I need each other physically, in a way I'd never felt with anybody. Our souls are in love, but our bodies are too...
I grab onto his arms as his fingers trace my skin, resting on my neck, where he continues to kiss me.
I'm struck with the sudden desire for his blood, and as soon as I think it, I also become sad, because I'm now aware that Jimin will never allow me to drink from him again....
Certainly not after what he'd been through....
Why does that make me so sad?
Shouldn't he just be enough?
But I want all of him. I want the taste again-
Suddenly I feel his teeth on my neck, and my eyes open, a gasp stopping in my throat.
"Little one-" I try to say.
Jimin kisses me faster, biting softly.
And again.
Pleasure courses through my body and I stifle a moan.
No no stop. I can't take this. Not your teeth on me. Jimin-
My breathing is coming in soft gasps now, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I struggle to regain control of my body and my desires....
His hands touch me-
He bites again, and this time it hurts.
But somehow I still like it. I still feel it, sharp and heavenly in my body. It makes me want him more.
Jimin sighs, and it's like the sound an angel makes....
"Baby, ah!" I cry out when he drags his nails down my arms and bites my neck.
Jimin, what are you doing?!
He makes the angel noise again, and starts sucking....
My eyes fall closed again, and I smell blood.
My blood.
My heart skips a beat in both fear of what he's doing, and also joy, for the same reason.
I can't think. I can only follow him, and follow my body as they both take me higher and higher-
Past pleasure, past need. Past love.
I'm so far past that now, because suddenly I'm coming, and Jimin is swallowing my blood, his fingers tearing at my skin.
Groaning his name, I fracture into millions of pieces.
"Fuck-" I hiss.
The wound on my neck aches...
And, as I come back down to earth and my eyes open once more, I realize all at once what Jimin has just done.
My heart skips a beat again but this time it's fear.
He's staring down at me.
Panting softly. His lips red.
I grit my teeth. I can feel my fangs lengthening....
"Jimin." I say. "Why?"
He blinks. "Because I wanted to." He answers.
"Why did you want to? Do you have any idea what you just did?"
He looks so gorgeous right now.
His pale skin in the moonlight coming through the window....
His black hair, hanging wet in his eyes. His dark eyes. His full, red lips.
"I'm pretty sure I made you come." He says.
I blush, but shake my head.
"You drank my blood." I say. "Jimin, my blood is not human. You just drank vampire blood."
His eyes go wide.
"What will that do to me?"
There's something strange in his voice that makes me pause, but then I just shrug.
"I don't know, but it will probably make you want more of it. I don't know what more will mean."
He blinks. "I always want more of you."
I don't smile. I can't get past the way he's looking at me.
Like he wants to see how deep, how dark, how lost he can get.
Jimin wants to fall. To forget, and to fuck me.
And I want it too, but I refuse to allow him to lose himself too much.
Jimin wants to be himself again, but the Jimin that I know, would never have bitten me like that.
"Do you want me?" He says suddenly.
"Always."
I want you in every way imaginable Jimin. But I don't want to scare you....
He seems to know what I'm thinking.
"I want you to bite me." He breathes out quickly.
He's blushing, breathing. Turned the hell on.
But I won't hurt him. I won't push him away.
"I can't. I don't want you to feel pain anymore Jimin, only happiness. Only my love."
He smiles shyly.
"It won't hurt me." He says. "I want it. To know that I'm making you happy fulfills me."
I sigh. "I can't."
Jimin-ssi frowns.
Then he kisses me again and I taste my blood on his tongue....
"Bite me." He breathes into my mouth.
My heart races. "No."
Jimin frowns.
"I'll make you." He says.
I don't want it to, but I feel the effect of his words in my body.
No I won't hurt you.
"You won't hurt me," he seems to read my mind. "I trust you Oppa."
Before I let this go any further, I manage to push him away.
"No." I say again, more firmly.
I don't want to.
When I sit up and then stand up, my head aches and I start getting faint....
Stumbling slightly, I fall back against the wall.
"Agh-"
I grit my teeth, a cold metallic taste in my mouth.
I put a hand over my neck and when I look at it, it's bloody.
Not just fear now, but anger infiltrates my mind....
"Jimin I didn't ask you to do this. Look at this-" I show him my hand.
He's sitting on the bed, staring wide-eyed at me.
"You liked it." He says simply.
I did. I wish I didn't.
Nodding, I try to calm my heartbeat. I'm almost mad at him.
"I did like it. But it was wrong. You're human."
"So you can do it but I can't?"
I nod. "Exactly."
Jimin frowns. "Do you know how fucked up that is Taemin?"
My eyes widen. "No, this is what's fucked up Jimin!" I gesture to my neck. "Who knows what it'll do to you, it could kill you, Jimin."
"I don't care."
"You don't care if my blood kills you?"
"No. I don't."
There's a horrible silence in the room for a moment, and then all I can say is;
"You want to die, Jimin-ssi?"
His face turns dark. His eyes narrow at me....
"No!" He shouts suddenly. "I don't want to die, but whenever I close my eyes I see blood and death and pain, and I feel it in my body, and all I want is you to save me!"
He gets out of bed and I watch, collapsed against the wall as he puts his pants on, and then drags a sweatshirt over his head, his black hair sticking up in odd angles.
"I don't know who I am anymore!" He cries, not looking at me. "And I'm not scared of what happened, I'm scared of what it made me. I'm afraid of how I want you... I know it was wrong to bite you, I know how fucked up it is! But I wanted it! And I'm scared that I want it! I'm scared of what I want, and what I am-"
And then before I can do anything, Jimin bursts into tears and runs out of the room.
I hear his footsteps on the stairs, and then the front door slamming.
I'm afraid, I'm terrified. And I'm angry. At myself, at Jimin.
At him.
At him.
And her.
And myself. Fuck!
I can't do anything but scream.
Because Jimin may be lost, but I don't know if I'll even be able to find him at this point....