Falling for the enemy

Part 7.

Regina Mills:

How can I forgive myself after my actions? I hurt the one girl I allowed myself to open up to. The one person I've allowed to care for me for this short period of time. The one person I gave permission to take down my tall walls guarding my heart, then I throw everything away by this stupid mistake.

I was so angry at Emma for leaving me hanging... I ended up hating her, I had the lust and desperation to hurt her. I've never ever been like this before, I'd never hurt anybody, so I don't know what came over me, I have no excuse, yet when we started to get close again... my mind become fuzzy letting her come back into my life making me completely forget about my childish tantrum and harm I put her in.

I called ruby and made sure she taken Henry for the night, I could explain that I'm going to the hospital with the women I like who is also his mother, and that I put her in this state which will just worry him and lead him to despising me more than he already does and in his eyes I'll be... evil. I have no choice but to travel with Emma to the hospital, I can't leave her. Not like this.

I sit back in the chair and let the doctors and nurses do what they're best at. They fight for Emma tying her up to all kinds of machines to drain out the poison, but it's not a simple as that. The poison has spread quicker than I even thought was possible, reaching her perfect pumping heart which is now consumed with poison, how could I let my heartache overpower my morality?

Emma's got all sort of wires attached to her arms and chest, a long tube hanging out her mouth for the time being helping her drain out some of the poison and helping her breathe, but the worst thing is that's she's not conscious. What will happen when she wakes up? Will she remember anything? Oh god... i hope not.

After practically the whole night passing by, nurses finally return to remove some of the tubes and wires waking me from my sleep. This is the moment we find out whether or not she will wake up. Please Emma be okay. Henry will never forgive me. I will never forgive me. A long night in hospital and it's now 6:00am, I wait for everyone to leave in order for Emma and I to have privacy.

"Emma?" I softly whisper, there's concern in my tone, but also sheer panic. I want her to wake up, I can't loose her. Not like this, but I'm scared in case when she wakes up she will remember. I never intended to hurt her. If only I could find some portal that could turn back time, or a memory potion to forget anything that happened between the two of us. Things just aren't that simple though, it'd be easier if we all were fictional characters.

I raise from my seat and tower over the beautiful blonde before me. I brush back some of her hair and kiss her forehead. Please wake up. My heart is practically tearing into two, I regret everything. A single tears runs down my cheek and lands upon her paper thin lips. I brush her lip with my smooth thumb smearing the salty tear along her lip, tempting me to kiss her, but would it be the right thing considering she's unconscious?

I duck down and hesitate for a short moment, can I really kiss the girl I've damaged so much? I take a deep breath and continue, softly pressing my lips to hers as I hover over her body. My heart pounds in my chest and I'm certain Emma can feel it my damn organ pumping against her body. My eyes flutter open as I feel my hair breezing, blowing away from shoulders and landing around the sides of my face like a pair of weak cabin doors flying open in the winter while wind and breeze smacks against my face. A bright yellow ray of light ignites from our kiss escaping the hospital room and out into the quiet town of Storybrooke. I pull away from the kiss with shock as images flash across my mind; images of me in the enchanted woods, dressed in heavy leather dresses and collars raising high behind my neck. My castle and my darling father obeying my every command. The desperation to kill snow. The hundreds of lives i taken. The fear I create on people.