Memory - George

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I miss those butterflies. You know the ones you had when you knew someone liked you? Or the time you felt a flutter when the guy you'd dreamt about, suddenly asks you to pass a sugar sachet? It's a wonderful feeling but, along the way somewhere we lose it and replace it with a need for money, sex and everything else that's wrong with the world. So you often find yourself wondering if that was just a childhood phenomenon.

But when you meet the right person, it will all come back to you.

He wasn't what I'd call my type. I shouldn't even think about the whole type question, considering I had a boyfriend. But, like with all relationships, long distance is a bitch to everyone. So yeah, I fell for all the brooding-artist personalities. I wouldn't ever tell him, because he was my punching bag. Every bad day at school, every sad day in the relationship department and every disappointment with life, felt like it didn't exist when I joked around with him.

It didn't help that he was such a nice person, someone who'd openly admit to being fucked up and still believe in the concept of love. You don't get a lot of 19-year-olds like that. I saw him look at me more than once, he'd steal glances, annoy me, do everything to get my attention. I decided not to tell him, or do anything about it, because that was the right thing to do.

And today, I see him and his band mates on stage at another one of their concerts, as he starts playing the chords to one of their newest songs. I park myself next to his beautiful girlfriend and wish life had played out differently. I wish I'd had the guts to own up to my feelings, because now all I have is a memory of the good times.
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