Something Lost (Original Draft)

Chapter 22: Awkward Talk

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The next morning we stopped briefly before we reached Berthold. It was extremely awkward dodging each of James' courtesies. I had rejected all of them, including the help he offered me when I went to dismount from Andrew's horse. That rejection backfired as I fell face first into a muddy pit that we strategically stopped near.

I sat alone and bathed my soiled clothing in a nearby stream. I scrubbed the thick worn leather of my boots as I pondered how much of a fool I was. In the end, I figured I was coward not a fool, because a fool is clearly ignorant of what he or she is doing and I was not. I tossed my boots to the side and stretched my legs out, dipping my feet into the cold water, watching as the current swished in-between my toes.

"Hey—you," James exclaimed as he shoved me playfully from behind.

My small hands firmly grasped the large rock I was sitting on as I flew forward, my body shook from the sudden scare.

I pulled my feet from the water. "You nearly stopped my heart," I shouted winded as I shoved my boots back on my bare feet.

That scare reminded me of the prank that was played on me at Larska River, and again, I did not find it amusing.

"Sorry about that," he said as he sat next to me, leaving little room on the rock.

I glanced over my shoulder, I couldn't help that my stare was carried over to Cassandra and the other knights. I knew our business was our own, but I didn't want them reading into our every interaction.

"So why are you acting weird and don't tell me you're not."

I smiled over at him, my eyes trailed to his. He wore a serious scowl across his face... was he worried?

"I'm not..." I replied jokingly, trying to clear the tension that I had built between us.

There were two paths I could go down. The first one, I could simply smile and dismiss the fact that I had heard their private conversation the night before, which was the path that my former non-confrontational self would have taken. Or I could tell him the truth, as awkward as that was going to be. This time I wasn't going to flake out, after everything I had been through this choice wasn't as hard as it would have been a month ago. I was going to tell him.

"Honesty," I replied while grabbing my canteen to refill it.

"That would be nice for a change," he retorted.

I swooped my head to the side, he watched my eyes as they trailed from him to where the others stood.

"The night before... everyone in Terra could hear the conversation you had with Cassandra," I blurted, I feared if I didn't, I would have started to ramble like a fool.

He looked as if he had seen a ghost, and I could tell that it never occurred to him that we could hear their talk. I laughed nervously and returned his playful shove to lighten the mood. Truth be told, in that moment, I wanted to scream "kidding", or anything that would have washed the look of shock from his face.

His eyes lowered. "So now you're going to act differently around me, because of what was said?"

I gazed at him blankly, wondering how I should answer him. When he put it like that, it really seemed like I was the one acting like a jerk—not the others. It was unfair of me to start avoiding him just because he had a past with someone else.