Broken.

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            I stood there, motionless, my bloodshot eyes staring out of the window

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            I stood there, motionless, my bloodshot eyes staring out of the window.
  Why?
  Why did this have to happen?
Nathaniel knocked and let himself in, of course. "Sandro, you need to get out of this room, get yourself cleaned up. You look pathetic!" he spat.
I was aware, so i simply nodded, "I'm aware of that. But I'm not leaving. I don't want her to wake up and have no-one by her side. I failed her once, Nate, I'm not going to do that again."
He glared at me, "we all love her, but Alessandro, it's been what, seven months?"
I nodded matching his glare, "No. Eight months. More reason for me to stay. She might wake up and i am not here for her and our baby. I don't want that."
He shaked his head, "what about the other kids, huh? You've neglected them, staying in this hospital room for hours on end, not even seeing or spending time with them. How do you think they feel? How do you think she'll feel when she hears that? They miss her too. We all do. But we have to stay strong. You have to stay strong for the kids."
After that speech, he went out saying he's not leaving me behind.
Not today.
I went over to the bed, looked at Gia sleeping. The scar on her face, seemingly disappearing. Her body not pale. Anymore.
Alittle colour was coming back to her flesh.
Thank heavens.

"I'm going to be back soon baby. I love you," I hummed on her hair, kissing her forehead,  then her tummy and headed out the door. Nathan and I drove by silently none of us trying to hold a conversation.  Lost in my mind I thought, it's been eight months, thirty two weeks, two hundred and twenty four days since the operation, since she was awake and thirty four weeks, two hundred and forty days since she became pregnant.
   "Do you think she's ever going to wake up?" he suddenly asked. I felt my blood boil and i clenched my fists tight not to hit him, how dare he?  Through gritted teeth i answered him, "of course she is. Gia is a fighter."
Gia, if you can hear me, please wake up!
I need you.
Please.

He packed and i immediately stalked out of the car, banging the door close for impact. Stronzo.
Openning the door i was greeted with a warm breeze. "Ciao papa!" Mason and Enna ran to me. I bent down and picked them both up, "Ciao! Ciao! I missed you two."
  "What were you two up to?" i kissed their faces.
They shuffled to get out of my hands and i let them down. They grabbed my hands and led me to the living room.
"We made giftcards for mommy. Nonna suggested we make her a gift. Do you think she'll love them?" they ask nervously. My heart swells with love, "of course she will. Now go put them in the bag we are taking tomorrow then I'm coming to tuck you in bed."
They signed almost sadly and did what i told them and went to the room.
Over the past months, i have been in Aspen. There was risk of flying Gianna to another hospital. She stayed and i did too. Never leaving. But the kids had gone to Italy with my parents for sometime. But as time went by i had to tell them that Enna was sick. They cried the whole night that day and for the rest of the week, they were all glummy.
I got into my room and discarded my shoes and socks. Put on a pair of slippers and headed to the room the kids were at. The door was open slightly, i couldn't help but overhear what they were saying, they both sniffed, "mommy is going to come back to us, right?" Mason asked Enna.
"Yes. I hope so, i miss her so much," she sniffed.
"I miss her so much too," Mason sniffed.  I think they hugged or something saying it would be okay. That was when i acted like i didn't know what had just taken place, i kind of barged in, "who's up for a bedtime story?"
They put on brave faces when they saw me and nodded, smiling. Getting in the covers.
"Once upon a time in the land of the princes and princesses there was an old man who had ummh dreadlocks. Yes dreadlocks. So. This man one day... "
Enna giggled, pulling the covers to her chin, "papa, you suck at telling stories."
Mason grinned, "i bet i could do better, right sis?"
Enna giggled again blushing, "mommy told the best stories." Then both of their faces sank as Mason hummed in response agreeing with her.
"Papa, when will mommy come back home?" Mason asked. His face in a pout, "i miss her so much."
I squeezed myself in between them and held them tight, "i miss her too. She will come back sooner than we know." I kissed their foreheads and told them to go to sleep.
They snuggled in my arms and closed thier eyes to sleep. So did i.

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

"You have the presents on your bags?" i aaked them as they ran past me. "Take them to the car! And put on your seatbelts!" i shouted chuckling lightly.
I kissed my mother goodbye and went to the car with the bouncing kids, excited to see Gia.

The moment i parked the car they were already free from their seatbelts and fumbling with the door, glaring at me. Thank God for childlock systems, i thought opening their door for them from outside.  They rushed past me and into the hospital, "kids, slow down."
On my way inside, i met the doctor taking care of Gia. "Doctor, hi. I was meaning to talk to you about something."
I shaked his hand, "good morning mr. De Lucca. Sure walk with me to your wife's room."
I nodded and walked in step with him.
"It's about her delivery? How is it going there  happen. I know its around a month or so but I'm nervous."
He nodded in understanding amd threw a small smile my way, "i know you're nervous. Well, i am still not sure because i don't suggest giving her more anaesthesia since she is already numb. Maybe a natural birth would do."
I nodded and listened attentively to everything he explained. At the door, he said, "I'll leave you to it. If you have any questions, just ask me."
  I smiled slightly at the sight of the two bumblebees on the bed with Gia, hugging her. I got them off one by one and sat them on the side of the bed.
"Why don't we read mommy the gift cards we made, yeah?" i asked them.
They nodded and ran for their bags that they had thrown down the moment they got to the room and i placed them on the couch by the window.
"Me first. Me first," Enna said excitedly. Looking over at Mason he shrugged.
So i put Enna on my lap and let her open her card. She cleared her throat,
"Dear mommy,
     It's your little princess Enna. I miss you so much. I hope you miss me also. I want you to come back to us. I won't be a naughty girl. I'll listen to you always. I love you mommy."
She sniffed and i rubbed her back softly, soothing her, kissing her head before i set her on one side of the bed. She leaned in and kissed Gia on the cheek and snuggled on her side.
Then i put Mason on my lap as he opened his card.
"Mommy,
    It's your little superman. I miss you so much mommy. I want you to come back. To give me stories, papa sucks. He is the worst story teller," he joked.
"Hey!" i complained, Enna giggled lightly and agreed.
"Anyway, i miss your cakes. Dad makes the worst ever. I think we had food poisoning the day we ate his cakes. Please come back and teach him to make the best cakes in the whole world. I miss you so so much mommy." His voice cracked at the end.
He leaned and kissed her cheek, his lips lingering there.
I glared at them both, "way to make me look good, guys!"
They shrugged and laughed it off. But something was really off with Mason. He put on a fake smile.
I told them i was taking them to the cafeteria to have some food, they got down from the bed and we walked out. Meeting Nathaniel and Scarlet halfway, we decided we would all go for breakfast.
   "I think i forgot my bag," Mason said and stormed back even before i told him we would be going back to the room. Walking for a few minutes he wasn't back, i told the others that i was going to look for him.

Sniff.
Sniff.
Sniff.
"Monmy, please just come back. Maybe they don't need you. B-but i do. I need you here so much. I miss you. Please," he cried.

Gia, please.
We are all hurting.
Please wake up bear.

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