Use Somebody s.m

Pt. 17

Here's 1.2k words of a one POV chapter with a whole lot of talk and explanation about love. Enjoy!
Y/n POV:
"Eli?" Didn't expect him...the name on my Uber app said my driver was James. Now that's weird. "Heyyy Y/n! We meet again!" He says cheerfully. "Woah woah, I don't get it. The name on here said James...Eli you're not a James" I say giggling. "Well, actually I am! My first name is James, but I go by Eli." He says motioning me to jump in. "Well, I'm glad it's you. That means I don't have to pretend to be interested in some ransoms person's story! This way I can't actually be entertained!" I say with a spark of enthusiasm. "So what're ya doing down here?" He asks while keep his gaze fixed on the road infront of him. "Oh! I was just meeting Shawn for a late lunch-study-get to know-thingy. I honestly don't even know what to call it." I say blandly. "Oh. Well, if you want, I'm happy to join in on your indoctrination on the city of Toronto! I'm happy to take you around the city any time! In fact, what do you say about this weekend?" He says very straightforwardly. "Uh...okay! That sounds pretty awesome actually! I don't even have my own car over here, so knowing the place on foot is probably a great idea." I say. "Well, I mean, you're from NYC so you know how to navigate around big cities. I'll just show you some fun places and things to do, and of course places to eat duh, and maybe even share a touch of the history. Sound good?" "Why yes it does actually! That sounds awesome! Especially the food..." I say with a sly, but sweet smile on face. I watch his eyes light up with excitement and enthusiasm which automatically brings me joy. See, I'm a touch strange. Well a lot strange, but I'm especially strange when it comes to happiness. I'm really only happy if other people are happy. Whether I make them happy or not, but energy runs off on people. I've taken it to be my part in making people smile and be happy no matter what the circumstances are. There are times when you need to cry, you need to scream, you need somebody. Everyone deserves a Somebody. When it becomes time to use that Somebody, that's when true happiness and joy arrives. Your Somebody provides you joy and happiness. You have two Somebodys. You have yourself, which can be the best and worst Somebody all at the same time, and then have your other person. Your Somebody will change as you grow older. Your Somebody might be your best friend while you're in fourth grade, then it might be you're cousin in highschool, but it'll be the person you adore and love with you're whole heart at the end of the day. Once you find your Forever Somebody, there's not a replacement for them. See, you never forget your Somebodys. They might forget you if you weren't there Somebody, but you'll never the people who helped you most through the good and bad. When you become Somebody's Somebody, and they're yours, that's when it's forever. That's when the world gets brighter. See, people say "you can't love someone if you don't love yourself." and I'm here to tell you that's completely wrong. But, what's is true, is that once you find Somebody, they help you love yourself. Loving yourself strengthens your relationship with other people. Loving yourself is the one of the hardest things ever to do. It's tied with letting go of a person on the scale of worst emotional feelings. But, it's important. Your Somebody will make you feel loved, when you're loved, you love yourself even if you deny it. They'll bring to into the light and show you how much you love yourself. That my friend, is how loving yourself works. It won't all go away instantly, in fact it might never go away, but the darkness will dim, the light will appear, and you'll be born with a new eyes to see with. I mean that in a metaphor. You're life will change. Like I said, it'll take time. You'll lose people and may never them again, you'll lose Somebody and then another will pop right in. But, you never stop loving them, you only find someone you love more. Whether that's a relationship love, friendship love, any type. Love has no boundaries. Love is an open raw painful experience, but once you experience it, you'll never forget it. You'll always learn from, even after you find your true love, you'll still be learning until the end of time. Love is a force that I believe no one can fully understand. No matter how much you study it, how much you think you know about it, it's constantly changing. Its never the same. One person can't experience the feeling that another person has for someone and vise versa. No one can understand how one person feels toward someone. Why? Because love is different. It's different for every person, every creature, everything that has passed, and everything that is to come. Even when you think you're loved the least, hated by everybody, what you don't realize is, you're actually the most loved. You just don't see it. There's also someone out there who loves you. Always. Sometimes the people the most confident are the the most insecure. Why? Because they don't see the people who love them for who they are. What I'm trying to say is, love in a universal drug. It shouldn't be illegal like real drugs. Love is beautiful, yet also painful. Love, is versatile. Love is love. I don't even realize we've parked at my dorm until Eli begins just shaking me. Have I really He day dreaming that speech for that long? I say thank you and goodbye, give him a tip, ya know. The usual. He seems oddly giddy today. It's a bit creepy. He seemed super down once I mentioned Shawn, but seemed to get over it. Ugh, guys. I spot Allison's car which means she's here. Gosh I've missed talking to her. I rush up the stairs and knock on the door frantically. My small, adorable tiny Asian roommate with the biggest brown eyes answers the door. I practically squash her in the process of giving her a hug. "Well someone's happy!" She says. "You're just in time. I stopped by barns and noble and got like....five new vinyls for the record player. She pulls out of her bag: 'Bombs Away' -Sheppard 'The World Won't Listen' -The Smith's 'Skins' -xxxtentacion 'Blue Madonna' -BØRNS and finally, 'The Mind's Diary' -Devin Hayes. Oh boy. Today's gonna be a long night. That's five more records to add to our HUGE collection. Hours later we've both collapsed on top of each other on the small fold out couch with some junk food. We definitely got the best cardio workout ever, and the best detox from crying our eyes out. In that moment, I realize how lucky I am. In that moment, I'm happy.

IG|| once_upon_a_shawn_