Use Somebody s.m

Pt. 19

Ch. 19
(I recommend listens to Sunshine ^^^
by Keaton Stromberg while reading this, OR You by Callum James!!)
Shawn POV:
Did I just tell this girl everything? My whole life story?  I just told her everything that's haunted me. Everything I try to forget. Everything I try to deny. Everything I try look at in a different light. Everything I just tried to forget by drowning it in the strong golden liquid called Jack Daniels Whiskey plus a little Gin mixed in.
No ones POV:
Shawn day there for what he felt like hours waiting on her response. His tear stained cheeks grew crusted over with the dried tears. His shaking as he sets the bottles down. He instantly feels ashamed of himself. He worked so hard to get over it all. He thought he had. He knew he hadn't. He tried to convince himself it was all okay. It wasn't. He tried everything. Until he went back to his last resort. Alcohol. Now he's here. Sitting Indian style on his white shag rug, not bothering about the couch right behind him, still in his clothes from earlier, with empty bottles surrounding him, the old guitar sitting beside him where he tried to fix his feeling by mending his heart with his poetry put to music, running his shaking, bitten finger tips through his hair. He brings his pinky to his mouth to continue his assault on his finger nails as he waiting for her response.
Meanwhile, Y/n is sitting up right, in her underwear and an  over sized tee shirt she got from the guys section of a thrift store because it made her less lonely, hair thrown up in crazy mess, being silent. She can't believe the words she just heard come out of his mouth. She shaking too, she doesn't notice. She so used to anxiety attacks it's normal for her. But this beyond any type of anxiety. He just said the words she's been dreaming to hear out of a mans mouth since she was 12. She wish she could tell her 12 year old self what her "fantasy" was going to end up being more life a Lifetime movie. But, it's her fantasy. Hers. Only hers. She's always noticed it was harder to breathe around Shawn, but she always brushed it off. 7 zillion things are running through her head right now. Shawn just confessed so much, and then ended with him confessing his love for her. She can hardly contemplate her existence right now. But, she's gonna trust her mind. She's gonna trust her stomach. She's gonna trust her heart. She's gonna trust her whole body. She's gotta trust herself when she says: "I'm coming over."
Y/n POV:
I hang up the phone without another word being said. So many voices are in my head right now and I can't take it. I need to go to Shawn's. Which is why I'm going. 1. He's a mess and he can't be trusted by himself. 2. I have somethings I need to sort out with him. Whether he's sober or not.
No ones POV:
Y/n slowly beings to stand up, for fear her head will start spinning and she'll wake up in New York where she came from and this will all be a dream. But, she doesn't. The wood floor creaks underneath he foot as she winces at the cold temperature. She walks over to where she spits some dirty clothes, too lazy to find something clean. She finds a pair of jeans that's she's dreading to put on because they're so tight. They don't make her feel like herself. But now she has to trust herself. She bites her lips as she considers. She finds herself walking out the door in some sweatpants, the over sized tee shirt she slept in, and her converse she's had since 10th grade. Her glasses pushed up to the bridge of her nose, hair thrown up in a falling French braid, yet she still remembers to write Allison a note and text her so she'll she in the morning where she ended up heading off too. She specifically told her: "I'm at Shawns. I'm okay, just had something to take care of. I'll be back before 10 xx." -Y/n. She says a silent prayer before she walks into the elevator on her decision. Her blank stare is concentrated on the road that she can't even think. She doesn't realize where she is until she's pulled up in front of Shawns condo building. She used the address he sent him days prior in case of an emergency. Once again, meanwhile Shawns a bit amount of his head. He doesn't know what she's gonna do when she gets here. Is she gonna slap him? Is she gonna kiss him? Are they gonna talk? What does she mean? His phone then suddenly rings. It's Y/n. He's affair to answer. He knows he's messed up. He thinks he's dreaming. He stares at her contact that's popped up on his IPhone X screen. He doesn't touch it. He just stares at it. He watches as her contact goes away. Then he stays still. Until he hears a knock at his door. His head has never whipped around so fast. He stumbles so fast to his feat he to regain his balance. Could it be? He cautiously opens the door before he's meet with a puffy eyed smiling Y/n, who looks as beautiful as ever in his eyes. He notices everything about her, as usual. He see the shirt, the sweat pants, the hair, everything normal people would see as imperfections, he sees as the most beautiful things in the whole world. He just told the most beautiful girl in the whole world he loved her and she now standing at his door step. "Hi..." she says timidly; voice cracking half way through the word. Before she can say anything else, Shawns dropped to his knees while clinging with his strong arms around her waste as he cries and sobs into her hip. The band of her sweat pants he spins soaking through with tears. She drops to the floor where he's laying in her lap. She's scratching he head when she happens to glance at his phone which lights up and he silently sobs into her while she occasionally mumbles an "it's okay," or a "shhh" in an attempt to calm him down. She really doesn't know what to say really. She reads the time, then notices the notification he has. It reads; "missed call from: beautiful angel~Yorkie; 4:43 a.m" she glances down at the crying boy in her lap as she leans down and says "I love you too" his crying stops for a split second. Then his tears fall more than ever before. More than the night of the crash, more than earlier, more than when his own sister slapped him after she found his drugs in his room 5 years ago. More than ever. He slowly brings his head up to look at Y/n and mumbles drunkenly "I'm gonna wake up and you're not gonna be here. You're probably not going to even exist. But for now, I'm just gonna sit here and cry. Because the girl of my dreams just said she loved me." He says before smiling at you while he leans into your hand that's founds his cheeks. Your touch is a magnetic force in his mind. For Y/n, she knows she'll be there in the morning. For a moment, she remembers the shirt she's wearing and the reason she bought it. In that moment; she realizes she doesn't need to wear that shirt anymore. She's not lonely anymore.

THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE STORY! I mean, I could leave off here if you wanted me too, but there's still a longggg way to go on this story! This is highly unedited! I'll go through all the chapters once the story is finished completely. Also, can I just THANK YOU for over a 100 reads, and apparently this story is currently #113 in #shawnmendes so...WOW. Thank you! I can't explain this into words! This story is so personal to me, and I just want to thank you so much! And please, leave a comment on your opinion on how the story's playing out, or just drop a bony reference in the comments😂 that's works too!But yes, a very, very long way to go! I can already tell you there's going to be a sequel to this!!💞💞
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I LOVE YOU

If you actually read all of that, thank you.