wallflower | taekook

forty.

"Let us cultivate our garden."
— Voltaire

Jungkook POV

It was a couple hours long. The time I spent on the phone with my mom was reassuring, for a moment things felt okay. I told her everything, and she told me it would be okay. I told her about Taehyung, she said she wanted to meet him one day. I told her hopefully one day.

Yoongi was nice enough to stay the whole day with me. He already made the plans to help me along, but I knew he had to be scared to leave me alone.

"Jungkook," he said, "Keep or toss?"

I glanced up from my spot on my bedroom floor and looked at him holding up bottles of hair dye from under the bathroom sink.
"Toss."

And he'd nod, throwing the boxes into a trash bag and moving on to something else from there. "Keep or toss?" he held up a few empty pill bottles.

"Toss." I said it quieter.

But Yoongi only nodded and kept his face neutral, no judgment or pity or signs of disappointment. It made it a little better. "These are getting tossed." he took the initiative to decide about the basket I had pushed into the far back. Whatever drugs in there were useless now as they sat in the bottom of a trash bag.

This went on for a while. Yoongi helped me clean out my bathroom, rid my nightstand of the sleeping bills, the pot under my bed in a shoebox, and whatever rest I had stashed in random places. I was even honest, I didn't want to hide and I showed him everywhere and he helped me clean up.

My mom also helped me. She told me she would talk to my doctor about my prescriptions, I was suppose to pick them up in a couple days.

It had been a few hours and I used the last tissue to wipe at my nose. "Are you hungry Kook?" Yoongi asked opening the fridge.

I nodded and noticed how dark it became outside already. "I really like this." I said. There was a frame on the kitchen counter, it was a photo of Jimin and I at the dance studio. It was from a few years ago when we first got jobs together and were so excited.

Yoongi looked over and smiled, "He has a lot more to give you, he just figured one at a time was a good idea."

We ate in silence after that, Yoongi making spicy ramen for the both of us and even cleaning up afterwards. "Go change and get in bed, I've got this." he said starting on the dishes. I just nodded and brought my blanket with me to my room.

After all that cleaning I was genuinely tired, my eyes were so heavy and began to hurt half way through eating. I could still hear the sink going when my head hit the pillow and I'm sure I was out seconds later.

What surprised me when I woke up was the extra blanket over my body, and the glass of water with a little pink pill on a napkin sitting on my nightstand. I swallowed it and drank all the water this time.

It was just past 10 am when I walked into the kitchen. I saw Yoongi sleeping on the couch and I walked over to leave my blanket over his resting from.

This time I'd cook for the both of us.

He just have woken up from the smell, because he came shuffling in a few moments later rubbing at his eyes and yawning. "Morning."

"Good morning hyung." I said, turning back to the pan in front of me before turning off the heat and scooping some eggs on a plate for a him and a smaller one for myself. There was a bowl of glazed tofu that we could share and Yoongi went to grab two forks.

"Here you go." I slid him the bigger portion and he mumbled a tired thanks.

That's how our days have been going. Yoongi stayed with me for a while and we did pretty casual things like cooking food and going grocery shopping for things that were more healthy than ramen and half-eaten takeout. He asked me about my books and I realized I haven't been reading as often, that made me ask if we could go to the bookstore soon and he smiled at the idea.

I took my pills and Yoongi drove me to go pick up my refills and new prescription from the pharmacy. I spoke to my mom on the phone almost everyday for a few hours and she'd tell me about the programs she watched on television and I'd tell her what Yoongi cooked for dinner the night before. She wanted me to come home and visit soon.

Jimin stopped by at one point to have dinner with us and brought me another picture, it was one of us that also had Yoongi in it. I put it on the table beside the couch.

Things seemed okay, it was like a forced routine that was meant to become habit. I know Yoongi was trying to do that, keep my busy to keep my away from the things that tempt and corrupt. It was working, for the most part.

There were some bad nights, ones when I'm happy to be getting some good rest at night but the sleep only prompts dreams, memories of a few days ago. All that pain and everything that made me hate myself. I was more numb now, I'm not sure if I was getting better or not caring, but it wasn't as bad. I would wake up, sometimes my cheeks would be wet, but I'd sip the water that Yoongi leaves me at night and I'd eventually fall asleep. He wasn't on my mind that often as the days went on.

It's been five days since.

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