Liv & Noah

Chapter Seventeen: Ever Mounting Stress

Liv

Wednesday

January 16, 2019

20:22 pm (8:22 pm)

"You know, it's hard sometimes. I know why I ended things, I know I need time to be on my own...and to figure out who I am...who I want to be. It's just so weird. It's like...seeing this person I used to be able to hug and kiss and...now I can't. It's not like we don't text and stuff, it's just...there's this invisible barrier. This feeling...I think we both know it's there, and...we can't talk about everything like we used to..." Isa was venting, laying stressfully on my bed.

A royal blue hoodie and grey skinny jeans were what she was wearing today. I sat beside her, in my black skinny jeans and a red/black plaid shirt. Thinking seriously about what kind of words I could tell her...to comfort her. Because breakups were hard, but that was way too simple to actually say.

"You know it's okay to still be hurt. You and Kes have major history together, it's honestly quite normal that everything is a bit difficult right now" I replied laying next to her, and cuddling close. Isa was like this sweet little cinnamon bun that I hated seeing get hurt. And what's worse, there wasn't much I could do about this situation. Once she was satisfied with her snuggles, she sat up and sighed "yeah I guess your right. Anyway, how's your showcase going?"

This showcase was becoming a problem. Even the word 'showcase' was becoming synonymous with Noah. And Noah...I felt pretty shit about the whole thing. Not telling the girls the truth, secretly messaging him and meeting up with him at fucking cafes. I didn't like it. I didn't like that with every meeting I was beginning to hate him less and less. And I didn't like that he could poke fun at me and make me smile in even in the slightest. I didn't like how I was noticing all the little things about him, like his nail polish, his rings, his weirdly attractive hands, his fucking dimples. I didn't like that we had things in common and I didn't like that we had similar music tastes.

But...I didn't hate it.

I just didn't like it.

And every time the showcase was mentioned I just wanted to spill the truth out. Tell the girls I was working with Noah, not because I chose to, but because I was uncontrollably paired off with him. That it wasn't my fault. That I would never have consciously chose to be partners with him of all people.

But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. To tell them. To even tell Isa.

She started laughing, waving her hand in front of my eyes "earth to Liv! Where'd you go? Is the showcase that stressful?"

"Oh...oh no. It's not...I mean it is...but not really." I felt minorly disoriented

"Right, so you and that Nina girl, do you get along? What's she like? What does she look like, maybe I've seen her before?" Isa asked eagerly, and frankly, I hadn't thought that far ahead with my lie. I just threw a random name out there last time, I didn't think of a whole backstory for this person. And the growing stress was killing me.