Going Live- A Destiel Fanfic

You Need to Tell Him

-Thursday Late Morning-

His fingers wrap around my wrist, the pads of his fingers making my skin white. I can't help but smile. 'If he's not awake, then he won't know.'  Before he gets too comfortable, I try and pry his fingers from my arm. His grip is surprisingly strong for him being both sick and asleep but I'm more surprised when his other hand grabs my free hand and pulls me into the bed.

"What the fuck?" I whisper, frozen as his arms wrap around me, pulling me towards his chest. 'What the fuck? What the fuck? What the FUCKING FUCK?' My heart beats uncontrollably in my chest as I stare up at the sick boy holding me to his chest. He smiles in his sleep making my heart flutter like one of his fangirls. My arms are pinned to my sides and I try to remain straight enough that he doesn't wake up. That's the last thing that I need. A sick, delusional Dean waking up to me in his bed is the last thing I need right now.

I take a deep breath and try to think of a plan. He's a deep sleeper but he doesn't sleep for very long. If I wasn't so concerned with the fact that Dean could wake up at any second, I would be enjoying the first human embrace that isn't related to me or Charlie. Although he probably isn't aware of the fact that it's happening, it's the closest I've gotten to affection since her.

"Mmm..." he mumbles, breath wisping against my ear and trailing down my neck. Its warm against my cool skin and sends goosebumps across my body. I clench my jaw to keep me from shivering. I take a breath and slowly shift so my back is too him. His arm is still wrapped around me, hands buried underneath my side. I soon realize my mistake as soon as he tightens his arm, lessening my chance of escape.

"Fuck," I hiss, quiet enough not to wake Dean. If he wakes up, I swear to God. He's gonna think I took advantage of him. I hate to say it but I'd totally make a better big spoon... 'What the hell are you thinking Castiel? He's literally asleep with a fever. I have to get out of here before I do something stupid.' I attempt to loosen his grip around me by taking his hand out from underneath me.

"No. Don't go," he whines while his hand grabs a fistful of my shirt. I grimace knowing that I have no chance of escape unless I take it off. Although he's unconscious, he still knows that I'm here. Won't he have some sort of memory of me? "Please don't go, Mom. Don't leave me." I feel the blood drain from my face and my eyes grow wide. 'What?' I swallow the saliva growing in my mouth and decide the only way to get out of this, is to go fast and act as nothing happened. Slowly removing the shirt from my body, exposing my back and my scars from the night. As my fingers rake over the rough skin, the memory of the pain sears through my mind. 'Calm down Castiel. It's fine.' Taking another breath,  I move a pillow out of the way and count to three. On three I thrust myself off the bed and onto the floor. From the bed, I can hear Dean waking up from his sleep.

"Cas? What are you doing?" he asks sitting up. 'Shit.'  Quickly I think of an easy lie and take a deep breath to clear my doubts.

"I dropped my phone when I brought in your water so I was grabbing it," I explain.

"On the opposite side of the bed?" he questions. 'Fuck me.' 

"Yeah, I was trying to find your charger to plug your phone in for you."

He closes his eyes and rubs his forehead. It's only then I notice my shirt clutched tightly in his free hand. 'You've got to be shitting me.'  "Oh... um... why am I holding your shirt?" 'Think Castiel. Think.'

"I-uh. I was going to get it wet with cool water and break your fever so I took... it...off," I sigh sitting on the side of Dean's bed, my legs overhanging. "I just want you to get better so you aren't delusional anymore." He's quiet. Not a word from him so I turn and look at him. His eyes are wide and staring at-