Lost Loving Souls (Connor x Reader)

Chapter 27

You all arrived back at the station. You sighed heavily as you sat down in your desk. You didn't know what to think anymore. You wanted to believe that there was more to Connor. You wanted to let yourself care, but last time you did, it was you who ended up broken. You shut your eyes tight as if it would block out the memories you'd never be able to forget. 

You decided to get something to drink. You went over to the small cafe area. Of course, Gavin was there. He looked up from his phone as he spotted you.

"Hey, (Y/n)." He greeted.

"Hey, Gav." You muttered. He frowned. 

"Something happen? Good old plastic cop botherin' you?" He asked. You sighed.

"I...I don't know." You replied. He seemed to understand this was real. He stood up.

"Hey, you can talk to me. That's what we agreed, right?" He said. You looked at him. You were one of the only people Gavin let in and he was one of the only people you let it. You sighed.

"Gav, I don't know what to think about all this. I wish I knew what to do." You told him honestly. He scratched the back of his neck with a sigh before looking at you again.

"Hey, if I were you, I wouldn't let that plastic prick get to me. You know none of its real, right?"

"But what if we're wrong?" You asked.

"(Y/n)," He said firmly. You looked at him. You trusted Gavin, but his opinion could be very biased. Plus, he was a stubborn person. That meant that his mind never changed either. "I can't make your choices for you, but you don't need this shit anymore. You've been through enough. You really wanna test this again?" You looked away from him guiltily. 

"I-I..." He sighed again.

"You know what I think. You know I'm right." He said. You watched him begin to leave. "If ya need me, you know where to find me." He said over his shoulder before walking off. You stood there for a moment. "You don't need this shit anymore." His words echoed in your head. Maybe...maybe's he's right. 

"(Y/n)?" You turned as you heard Connor's voice. "I came to check on you." He said. 

"Nothing much to check on, Connor." You replied, getting your drink. There was silence for a moment.

"I saw Gavin leave." He said.

"Yeah? So?" You asked.

"I was just wondering why you both were talking," Connor said. You said nothing for a moment.

"Unlike what everybody thinks, Gavin isn't that bad. He gave me some advice. That's all." You told him.

"What kind of advice?" Connor asked. You looked at him.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with." You replied quietly. He looked at you. He seemed to be thinking about something. He looked a bit more concerned now.

"(Y/n), what's wrong?" You froze for a moment.

"Nothing, Connor." You insisted.

"(Y/n), you know I can tell when people lie. Please. I...I want to help you." You looked at him, not convinced.

"Really? You want to?" You asked. He paused.

"I..."

"Connor, what are you?" You asked. He looked up at you again, his LED turning yellow.

"What answer are you expecting me to say?" He countered. You paused for a moment. 

"What I'm expecting is beside the point. Answer me." You said, avoiding the question. He stood tall.

"I'm a machine. I'm designed to accomplish a task and serve humans as I'm programmed to." He said. You nodded.

"Yeah. That's what I thought you were going to say." You told him.

"I know." You stopped.

"What?" 

"I know that's what you were expecting me to say, (Y/n). I know because that's how you see me. You see an android." He said. "But I know what I see in you. I know that you are trying to hide the person you used to be. It's not just from me. I can see it in you." 

"What do you know about who I am? Who I 'used' to be?" You asked.

"I don't know who you were before." He said. "But I know there's more to you. There's a brighter side in you, you just refuse to let it out." You turned away from him.

"I'm doing what I know is right." You held yourself, not wanting to let it show. Not wanting to let yourself succumb to the pain again. I can't let myself get torn apart again. Gavin was right. I can't take this anymore. I have nothing to lie to myself about. He was right. This isn't real. How could it be? You sighed.

"Besides, don't tell me you don't believe it yourself. You've said it before and I know you can't deny it. You said androids aren't alive." You told him. You faced him. "So how can I believe you? How can I believe you want to help?" He stared at you, clear sadness written all over his wavering chocolate brown eyes. "How can I believe you when you say you care?"

"Anderson! (L/n)! My office!" Fowler called suddenly. Connor turned. You walked past him as he turned back to you.

"(Y/n)-"

"Come on. It's probably important." You muttered and kept walking.

Connor's POV

I watched her head to the office. I followed after her. I couldn't convince her. I'd tried so hard, but she was right. She had a point. Androids aren't alive. We're machines and nothing more. "How can I believe you when you say you care?" I thought about her words. How can I care? She's right. It's always been impossible.

I walked into the office with Hank and (Y/n). I decided to speak with Amanda. I closed my eyes and I was back in the garden. It was darker and snowing. I didn't mind the cold, but things were definitely changing. I walked over to Amanda.

"After what happened today the country is on the verge of a civil war. The machines are rising up against their masters. Humans have no choice, but to destroy them." She said.

"I thought Kamski knew something. I was wrong." I said.

"Maybe he did. But you chose not to ask." I didn't know what to say to that.

"Why did Kamski leave Cyberlife? What happened?" Connor asked.

"It's an old story, Connor. It doesn't pertain to your investigation." She replied.

"I saw a photo of Amanda at Kamski's place. She was his teacher."

"I expect you to find answers, Connor. Not ask questions." Amanda said. "You're the only one who can prevent civil war. Find the deviants or there will be chaos. This is your last chance, Connor." She said. It seems like I'm failing everyone. I left the garden.

I opened my eyes to see Hank, (Y/n), and Captain Fowler. I glanced over at (Y/n). I...I never wanted to hurt you. I shook it off. I had to focus, but what Fowler said next stunned me.

"You're off the case. The FBI is taking over."