Lost Loving Souls (Connor x Reader)

Chapter 102

Gavin's POV

I made it home and I was finally able to let me actually feelings show. I wanted to find Collin more than anything. I just knew I couldn't let the other's see that. 

The cats came over to me and I knelt down to pet them. They meowed at me, pawing my legs and headbutting my knees. I was certain they knew something was wrong. I sighed.

"Collin and Connor are missing, you two." Their ears went back. "Don't worry. We're going to find them. I'm not going to let anything happen to Collin. Not again." I told them. Their ears went back up and they kept rubbing up against me as if to show they supported me. I smiled a little. "Thanks, ya furballs." They both meowed at me and I stood up. They followed me over to the couch. I laid down on my back. Cheezy laid on the arm of the couch behind my head and Satin sat on my stomach. I pet her and she laid down, nuzzling me and purring softly. 

I sighed heavily. I wasn't able to get rid of the feeling inside of me. It made me uneasy. I knew what it was. I was scared. I was scared of losing another person I cared about. I lost my family, my sister had tried to kill me, I'd found (Y/n) and I'd watched her become a person she wasn't before losing her too. She might've come back, but she still wasn't the girl she used to be. Now, I had somebody who actually looked at me with a warmth nobody else had. He might've not been the most romantic, emotional, or friendly, but he did show a different side of himself around me. I'd seen it and I didn't want to lose it. 

Cheezy and Satin brought me out of my thoughts. I looked at the two as they got my attention again. I sighed again. "I...I'm scared," I admitted. They both looked at each other. "What if...it's already too late? What are we going to do?" I asked. They both looked sad and it didn't really help that they seemed as lost as I was.

A knock at the door made all of us get up. I rolled my eyes, not in the mood to see anybody. Still, I got up and went to go see who it was. I opened the door and I was surprised to see Cass and Nate standing there.

"Hey, Gavin." Nate greeted somewhat shyly.

"Can we come in?" Cass asked. She seemed a bit more confident about it. I nodded, too confused to turn them away. They walked in and Cheezy and Satin instantly began to sniff them. Cass chuckled and Nate's eyes lit up. Christ's sakes, you'd think they'd never seen an animal before. I retorted to myself. They both turned to me after a minute. "Sorry that we came so late. We just wanted to talk to you." 

"Why?" 

"Well, it was Cass' idea. She wanted to check in since Collin is missing too. She said something about you two having a connection with each other or something. I overheard her talking to herself and offered to go with." Nate explained. I looked at her, knowing why she was there now.

"Sorry, Gavin. But...I know this isn't easy for you. (Y/n) isn't fully herself so we don't need to check on her. She'll be fine, I know it. You, on the other hand-"

"Me? Look, I don't need you two to pity me! I don't even know why you came! I'm not some baby who needs his pacifier because he dropped his stupid stuffed bear! For the last time, I don't see him like that!" I growled. I knew I was lying. I knew that I cared, but I just couldn't let the others find out. What would they do? What would they say? They'd probably see me the same way my parents did. Unfortunately, Cass wasn't falling for it or backing down. Nate, however, stayed out of it from that point on.

"You really think you can hide it? Gavin, liking an android isn't going to kill you!"

"Oh yeah? Look at what happened to (Y/n)." 

"Really? You're gonna pull that card? Thought she was like a sister to you." I paused.

"She was. But I said it once and I'll say it again, that android isn't (Y/n)!"

"Yes, she is! And Collin means more to you than you want anybody to know! But why? Why is that? Why are you hiding it? Are you ashamed of him? Are you ashamed of yourself for it? What are you so afraid of!?"

"I'm not fuckin' afraid!" 

"Really? Yeah, that's a lie!" 

"So what!? So what if I don't want to talk!? So what if I care or don't care!? Why do you want to know anyway!?"

"I already know, I just want the truth! Why are you afraid of letting people know you like an android?" I paused. While liking an android was part of it, it wasn't the main reason. But, being my stupid self, I let that slip on accident.

"It's not because he's an android," I muttered.

"What?" Cass asked. Nate looked confused now too.

"If it's not that, then why?" I looked at both of them nervously. I knew I wasn't going to be able to hide it.

"It's because...we're both...guys." They both looked surprised.

"That's why? Gavin, a lot of people are into the same gender. It's just how the world works."

"Tell that to them," I muttered, letting it slip again.

"Them? What do you mean them?" Nate asked.

"Wait," Cass said. "in the files. It said you were a part of something. A death in your family." I froze.

"What? File? Fowler actually kept a tab on that!?" I said. She looked surprised, but she moved on.

"Gavin...did your family...not like you because of this?" I stopped. I turned away from them.

"They didn't just 'not like' me. They hated me. My sister was so disgusted by me that she tried to kill me. After that...I swore never to be like her. I know I haven't done the best job at that, but...you don't get how hard it is to just turn yourself around. Especially when you're me...a stubborn jackass who can't even go five minutes without being nasty to something or someone." Nothing happened for a minute, but then I felt a hand on my should.

"Hey, nobody's perfect, man," Nate said.

"Gavin, nobody is going to judge you at the station. And anybody who does, it's their issue, not yours." I sighed.

"Just...I don't want to make it public yet anyway. It doesn't matter right now either. I just want o find him." They both smiled.

"Well, good thing we're all working together then. After all, we have the same goal, don't we?" Nate said.

"Find where they're hiding, take them down, rescue Connor and Collin, and protect the androids from any more attacks." Cass agreed. I frowned.

"But how are we going to do that? We don't even know if those two are still alive." I said. Cass and Nate looked at each other.

"Don't give up, Gavin. We'll find them." Cass told me.

"Promise," Nate added. I smiled a bit.

"Thanks, I guess." 

"Well, you aren't friendless yet, Reed." She chuckled. I nodded.

"You two better go. I gotta get some sleep." They both nodded.

"See ya, Gavin."

"Night, pal." The two of them left and I watched them go. I sighed one last time before heading to bed with the cats trailing after me. They're right. I don't care what it takes. We're going to find them.