Run Away

Pray

T.W- Attempted Suicide!! Talk about blood

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A week went by and I hadn't said anything, I didn't want to say anything to get me into any trouble, so I kept my mouth shut. It didn't matter, no matter what I did my parents seemed to be mad at me. No matter what. My dad hardly said anything to me, but that just made it better for me. My brothers would argue with me, but it was like they were arguing with themselves as I never responded to them. Mark didn't like how I never said anything back when he tried to get me to argue, I ended up with a few bruises from him trying to wrestle me, and then punch me. Andrew always stopped him though, Andrew seemed to understand.

When I was at school, Logan still made sure I ate lunch, he looked so upset, but at the same time he kept a small smile on his face whenever we were near each other. He would talk about the stars, his siblings, his mom, he talked about anything that he thought would cheer me up. I loved him for trying, but nothing seemed to work, I just couldn't  be happy with my current living situation and it was driving me crazy and it was making me cry more than I ever had before. I hardly slept anymore, not being able to sleep without someone next to me anymore. I needed someone to be next to me in order to fall asleep, but I can just live with it. Not like I needed sleep anyway. I can just browse on the internet, maybe read a cute fanfiction, look through instagram or pinterest. But I wouldn't sleep, I couldn't sleep, even if my parents tried to give me medicine, it never worked.

Logan would text me throughout the night, but eventually he too, had to sleep, which was understandable because I needed to sleep too, I just couldn't though, it was different in my situation. I miss Logan so much, I want to be by his side every moment of the day, what If I ran away again? Would Mary get in trouble? I wouldn't want that to happen, I love Mary and she deserves to be carefree of worrying about that. Worrying about me. She doesn't deserve the burden of me. 

Logan.

 Logan was perfect and the thought of him was the only thing keeping me sane, the only one keeping me alive. The thought of him made me push through, one more year. One more year and we could be together again. Although, I would be going to college, maybe he's going too.

~~~~~

Another week went by and I still hadn't said anything to my family. My dad continued to grow upset with me, my mom was worried but still did nothing to help me. She just continued on with life. My brothers just started to ignore me, it was fine with me to be honest. 

I woke up, I went to school, I went home, I went to bed.
I woke up, I went to school, I went home, I went to bed.
I woke up, I went to school, I went home, I went to bed.

Occasionally I ate a little. 
My life constantly repeated.

I hated it.

~~~~~

A month later and I was done with it. I was done with everything. I came home from school one day. Both my brothers were at some sport game and my parents were there to support them, I hated sports, but I knew I'd be in trouble for not supporting my brothers. But I could care less, the world can go on without me for all I care. Nothing would change. Literally nothing!

I quietly shut the door, not wanting to be too harsh on this house that's practically breaking apart already. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed my sleeping medicine pills and a knife that my mom had recently washed. 

I unscrewed the child lock cap and dumped the remaining pills out onto my hand, I dumped them into my mouth, a few falling onto the counter. I was crying a lot and I don't think I would ever stop, even when I'm dead.