Run Away

Forts and Nightmares

Logan sat next to me in the car, holding my hand the whole way home. Mary was humming along to a song on the radio and the toddlers were asleep. Roman and Virgil rode in Roman's car. I was content. I loved being surrounded by the people I loved, and the people who loved me. 

~~~~~

"C'mon Patton!" Roman called as we were heading inside the house. Mary was holding Thomas and Logan held Isabella. I was the last one to get out of the car but my arms were killing me, they were so sore and almost felt suffocated from the wrapping around my stitches. The scars on my chest were fading away, but were still there. That white line where the scars were, they would never leave. They were now apart of me. 

Logan held my hand as we walked to the door. Everyone was so hyper and talkative. I could understand though, being out of that hospital felt great, a big relief actually, for them at least. I felt...exhausted, and just wanted to sleep in Logan's warm comfortable bed, with his arms wrapped around me. 

But I'd have to wait a few hours to do that because it was around one in the afternoon, and Logan never went to bed before eight. 

I followed Logan into the living room, everyone was talking, Roman and Virgil bantering back and forth with one another, Logan smiling as they did so, and Mary taking the two little ones upstairs so we didn't wake them up.

I hadn't said anything since I got into the car, I was just listening. Listening in on the others conversations. I didn't feel like saying much, and I was hoping that no one bothered me about it...

~~~~~

Roman and Virgil decided to spend the night, we'd all sleep in the living room... Which meant that I couldn't sleep in the same bed that brought me so much comfort, along with Logan's warmth and his loving arms.

Mary was cooking and eventually called us in. It smelled delicious, but the smell was enough to fill me up. I really didn't want to eat. 

I didn't deserve it.

I had put everyone through so much, cost them so much money, taken a place in their home, taken up so much of their time. I didn't deserve to eat this wonderful meal. I needed to look my best, and be skinny, and be acceptably looking in front of these Gods and Goddesses.

"...Hey Logan." I whispered, tugging on Logan's sleeve as we started making our plates. 

"Yes dear?" Logan stopped making his plate and faced me.

"I'm really not that hungry, is it okay to skip out tonight?" I asked him, trying to be as convincing as possible.

"Are you feeling alright?" Logan asked me. He put his plate down and placed the back of his hand on my forehead. "Come to think of it, you haven't said a word since we left the hospital. You've been a bit clingy too. But do not worry, it's not a bad thing I promise. But it does lead me to worry about you." I tried to look away.

"Patton, look at me." I turned to Logan, not wanting to upset him.  "I think you should eat dinner." Logan said softly. "You haven't eaten actual food in a while, and you're getting too skinny, it's not healthy." I tried to blink back tears, but the more I blinked the more the tears fell.

"Hey, it's alright. I promise, everything is going to be alright." He pulled me into a hug, putting his chin on top of my head and rubbing his hand up and down my back.

"Mom, we'll be right back." Logan told Mary as he picked me up and started walking up the stairs. 

"Is he alright?" 

"Yes, I'll be right there." We walked into his room. He sat me down on his bed, but didn't let me hang onto him.

"...L-Logan, p-please." I grasped the cloth of my shirt that was over my tight chest as I reached a hand out to him. I needed his comfort, I needed to be comforted. "Please Logan." He walked up to me before I went into a panic attack.