Desire ☆ Timothée Chalamet

| 51 | lies

No matter how hard Daisy tried convincing herself she was okay, deep down she knew that was far from the truth. The throbbing in her head was a major sign that she was not doing well, so was the painful ache in her stomach due to her lack of food for the past three continuous days.

She had no room for an appetite when her nightmares had returned. It had always been this way, she'd always gotten used to the constant fear of falling asleep, knowing damn well that when she'd wake up she'd be a complete and utter mess after the nightmare she'd just had.

Sleeping beside Timothée for the past few days before he left to London she'd noticed her nightmares lessened, they even almost stopped happening completely. But now that they were apart she could never feel safe when sleeping by herself again.

Her phone rings, Daisy doesn't have to look down to know it's her mother. She's been avoiding her calls for the past few hours, she just couldn't put up a front for her mom. Her mom would know if something was wrong and Daisy herself wouldn't even know how to explain what was going on given the fact that she hadn't processed it yet. Also, she knew that her mother was shaken up the most after Harvey's death and hearing her voice would only remind her of it all.

All Daisy knew was that San Fransisco was a lonely place to her. She had no one to talk to, or to be around. Of course she'd developed a relationship with her cast members but most of them were way above her age and seemed to dismiss her as a child. They appreciated her on set and admired her acting skills but once shooting was over for the day they all grabbed some beers and Daisy walked back to her lonely apartment.

Lying to Timothée on the phone was easy. She hated that it was so, but listening to him sound so cheerful over the phone made her feel the need to mimic his excitement over anything and everything. He thought she was doing better, but really she was only getting worse. Although she never had a problem with confessing her emotions and feelings to him, this was different. She didn't know what her emotions were, she just knew she needed company. But being the stubborn person she was, she refused to ask for some.

Her cell phone rings and this time the picture on the screen show's Timothée rather than her mother. Daisy hesitates as she picks the phone up. She knew for a fact she was in no mood to play a part, but if she didn't answer Timothée would know something was up. He had her filming schedule memorized. He knew when she'd start filming and when she'd approximately be done. He also knew his girlfriend, and even though it was one in the morning where she was, he had no doubt she'd still be wide awake.

Daisy answers the call after the fifth ring and slowly and steadily holds it up to her ear. 'Hey.' She manages to croak out, she sounded tired and worn out, and immediately Timothée sensed it. 'Hey, long day at work?' He asks and Daisy hums quietly in response to his question. Her answer was partially true, it was quite a long day of shooting tonight, however that wasn't what was tiring her.

Her stomach was empty, and had been empty for the past few days. Her vision would sometimes blur when she'd be doing something that took too much energy. Walking home to her apartment took a great deal of effort so she'd have to take a pit stop at the diner near by and only ask for a water, but barely finish half the glass. She was worn out, but not from the movie, from herself, from her own issues. 'I miss you.' He coos into the phone.

Although it comes out as a whisper it's loud and clear and Daisy's heart skips a beat. She missed him more than he might think, all she needed was his presence and then maybe she'd be cured of the slump she was in. 'I miss you too.' She said meaning it wholeheartedly. Although most of the words she uttered to him on the phone were lies, this wasn't. She missed him and it hurt.

She didn't just want him, she needed him. Having him beside her was the only thing that was going to make her feel better, and she knew it. But she was too afraid to ask. That would make her seem selfish. Timothée was wrapping up his movie soon, and Daisy knows that if she asks him to come to her, he'll drop everything to make sure she was okay. But she can't let him do that, she won't let him choose her over his career. That was just way too much to ask.

'Hey, your mom told me you weren't picking up her calls earlier, I said you might have been on set but she thinks you're avoiding her.' Timothée blurts this out. It sounded as if he had been rehearsing what to say, like that's the reason he called her all along. She lets out a shaky sigh and feel's herself tremble slightly.

'I just- I'm really tired.' That's all Daisy could come up with. She had no answer, no justification for her sudden absence. Of course there were reasons why she was distancing herself from her mother, but none of them were to be shared with Timothée. Because it would only worry him.

'Oh.. okay.' Timothée is puzzled. Usually when he would call her late at night they would spend hours on the phone and Daisy would miss sleep to talk to him, and to hear his voice. But these past few days she hasn't been herself and Timothée took notice of that. 'Are you going to sleep?' he asks.

'Yes.'

'Are you alright Daisy?' he says, sadness in his voice.

'Of course I am.' She croaks. Daisy had meant to sound more convincing but her words came out wrong.

Timothée goes silent for a moment before replying. 'You sound exhausted, is the movie wearing you out?'

'A little.' She lies. It wasn't the movie that was wearing her out it was her night terrors. The ones that were now visiting her on a daily basis rather than monthly. And her brother, oh god how she missed him.

'And the nightmares? Have they come back again?' He asks this, and it was as if he'd read her mind. Timothée was sensing that something was not right with her, but he couldn't pin point what it might be. He didn't think it was Harvey, because Daisy had made it clear on multiple occasions that she was over it. That she was fine.

'N-no.' Daisy stutters, telling her boyfriend yet another lie. If he thought her nightmares weren't back maybe he would believe that she was okay.

Although Timothée was not fully convinced she was alright, he decided to leave it at that. He believed she must have been tired from a long day of filming or maybe she was missing Harvey and she would rather just get some rest than admit it to him. 'Okay babe, goodnight. I'll let you get some shut eye.'

'Goodnight.' She says and once he ends the phone call she lays in her bed, wide awake. Too afraid to be met with yet another nightmare.

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