The Wish (Completed)

Chapter 11: Alone in Love?

While waiting for Chenelle's arrival, I tidy up the place. Picking up pillows and the blanket Axel threw. I place the pillows on either side of the couch. Folding the blanket, I place it on the foot. I realize this place smells of breakfast and sorrow, so I lite a raspberry candle.

It was quite weird growing up, my mother loved candles. She loved them so much that she wouldn't burn them. I think she liked the way they looked. Or she just didn't want to waste them. Me on the other hand, I love the smell of a burning candle. Even after they're blown out, the fumes rise and the sent lingers.

My best childhood memories consisted of our electric going out, when we couldn't pay the bill. We lit candles for light, and dad couldn't watch TV. That was the one time we would spend time together. Of course, it lead to more arguing. Even though my parents weren't the best, they were all I had. I'm grateful for them being around.

Axel joins me in the living room. Wearing a purple hulk t-shirt with the words Hulk Smash underneath the raging marvel character. His black basketball shorts actually match for once. Hair still damp from the shower he took. "Hey bud, Chenelle is coming over today for lunch." Axel's face was groggy, but now enthused.

"Awe sweet! Jake and Gabe coming?" My mind was so wrapped up on telling Chenelle everything that I didn't even think of Axel. Dammit! I don't want his mood to deflate.

"Uh, I'm not sure. I can text her and tell her to bring them both." If those boys are coming then they're all going outside. No way is there going to be a tornado in my house.

"Yes, please do." I pull out my phone.

Me: Bring the boys.

"It's done kiddo." His emerald eyes spark with a new light, appreciation. I know he is still upset with me, probably always will be, but if I can help him forget, even for a short period of time, then it's totally worth it.

Was being with Jason worth it? No. The hurt that has encased my son was not worth affection. There's always going to be a possibility that I'll want him again. I have to think about my son first. Buzz, buzz goes my phone, Chenelle finally responds.

Chenelle: You got it girl.

Axel left and went to his room. He comes out with several toy guns and a Styrofoam sword. I'm a little taken. Axel used to always want me to play with him. Now he wants nothing to do with me. No more wrestling, hide and seek, tag, nothing. Did he forget about me? I never wanted him to disappear.

It's only natural that teenagers find themselves without their parents. They need space. Children usually forgive right away. I miss his sweet little hugs. "Axel.", soft motherly voice.

Caught off guard, looking me in the eyes, toys still in hand, "Yes, mom?" This is my son. I should be able to speak to him without feeling lost. He should be able to come to me about ANYTHING when he feels lost.

"Do you-do you still love me?" His mouth drops slightly. I didn't want to put him in this spot, yet I just did. Why do I make this so hard on him? He looks down at the ground, brown curls cover those green eyes. No more light shining through, desperation does. Desperate for an answer, desperate for love, for a father, confused as to why he's so desperate. I lift his chin and analyze him. "It's okay Axel, you don't have to answer that. I'm sorry, I just love you so much."

Skimming my thumb along his little jaw, I smile at him. He drops all the toys from his hands, steps forward, and wraps his lengthy arms tight around my slim waist. I grab his head and kiss the top of it. Actions speak louder than words.

Chenelle knocks on the front door. Axel swings it open aggressively. I catch it before it puts a hole in the drywall. Heat rushes in, dominating the cold A/C.