The Wish (Completed)

Chapter 32: friEND

A week. A total week that Jason has ignored me. So much happens in a week, Axel starts school today. I went to the office to turn in my two weeks, turns out I was already fired and replaced, said I was too particular.

Whatever the hell that means. Scott better not have put a bad word in for me. All the schooling I went through for this profession, just to be thrown out; would slaughter me.

As if the icings not already on the cake, Jason is gutting me. I've tried calling, texting him, even going as far as looking into a ticket to fly out there.

If he isn't going to give me the time of day, then I'm not going to waste my breath anymore. I thought he put the air back into my lungs, I could finally breathe. In reality, all he's doing is suffocating me, gasping for a fresh breathe that will never be granted.

One thing after the other, I don't know how much more I can take. God doesn't give you more than you can handle. What wiseass said that? He must think I'm stronger than what I actually am. My arms are about to give out, I can't hold up the weight, too cumbersome.

"Mom, I'm not ready, but I'm ready." I chuckle, he's not ready for school, but nonetheless, he's ready. There's no way out of this one kiddo. School is great, kids have no idea until it's over. No responsibilities, hang out with your friends, play sports, prom, homecoming, football games, plays, there are just too many thing to be grateful for, so many kids take them for granted.

They have no idea how good they have it. Then the real world sets in, no more friends, sports, prom. Here comes the responsibilities, kids, too many things no one thinks about until it actually happens. We think we have it all figured out, until we realize, we never really had a clue.

"Axel, you'll have fun. You're a fourth grader baby! Make it a great year sunshine." He looks so adorable with the new backpack I got him, it's almost bigger than he is. Axel reaches my chest, and I'm sixty three inches tall.

A black polo shirt, cargo shirts, and a brand new pair of black shocks. I thought I'd splurge a little for his first day. Curls round his face, no longer shielding his emerald eyes since I took him for a cut over the weekend. "Go impress those girls." I wink at him and his face fills with disgust.

"Gross mom, all girls are nasty. Except for you, you're actually pretty cool, for a mom anyway." Taken aback, I don't know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment, but I'll go with the latter.

"Thanks kid. You're pretty cool too, for a son." A sheepish smile curves on his lips. I put my arm around his shoulder, "Alright boy, let's walk to the end of the lane here and wait for the bus."

The gravel under our feet remind me of being the kid Axel is. Running with no where to go, just to escape somehow. I hope I didn't fail him as my parents failed me. Trickling rains steaks the atmosphere, fog blurs my vision. A dreary day to accompany the loss of Jason, and the eight hours of Axel's absence while he's at school.

A red umbrella in the distance catches my eye. A little girl prances underneath, pouncing in the puddles while her mother protests. Mud spewed in all directions, sticking to her pretty once yellow dress. No worries in her little world, we approach and join their wait for the school bus to arrive.

"Axel, I hope you have an awesome day. Try making a new friend today." I want him to love his life freely, not too recklessly. Get in trouble every now and then, harmless fun. It's nice to have memories to relinquish, with no regrets.

I skim my thumb across his cheek, wiping mist away. He just smiles and pulls me in a tight hug. Closing my eyes, I breathe in his boyish scent. The top of his head kissed by my lips. He better only be getting kisses from mama. "You smell good.", I admit aloud.