The Wish (Completed)

Chapter 53: Interruptions

Three months pregnant, but hardly noticeable. Jason and I haven't talked since the incident at the game. Now December, the air is bitter cold. Packed snow crunches under the soles of your shoes.

The weary wind blinding, hair sweeps in front of your face. Cold air bites at exposed ears, turning them red. I hate this time of year, depressing, dark, lonely. Times like these, I crave warmth. Warmth at night, I long to have Jason in my bed, wrapped in his arms. 

I haven't been out of the house other than going to work. Yea, I now have a full-time job, at a dental office on the opposite side of town. Not my favorite place, but it'll do for now. I've been mailing monthly payments to Jason's house, like I said I would. 

If he's lucky, I'll go outside with Axel and we'll play in the snow together. We've built a snowman, and woman, an igloo, even had a playful snowball fight. Nights like this, I'm all alone, on a Friday. Axel is with his new friend, Draven. So I decided to fill the house with heat, a more soothing way, by baking cookies. 

The batter is already whipped up. Cookie sheets are greased, oven is preheated, all I have to do is drop them then let them bake. Chocolate chip cookies are placed in the oven. All these cravings are eating me alive.

I can't stop wanting junk food, or weird concoctions. I haven't had sex in months and it's killing me. I crave Jason constantly, more than chocolate but he'll never know that. 

Speaking of cravings, I need something this moment. If I weren't pregnant, I'd just eat the batter, but I can't risk getting salmonella. I'm going to settle for a spoon full of peanut butter, it's just as well. Fetching for a table spoon and peanut butter, I unscrew the lid and dive right in.

Scooping enough to devour, I'll even pour myself a glass of milk to wash it down. As I'm licking the spoon, my tongue becomes tired, throat dry. Taking a swig of the milk, I accidentally pour an abundant amount on my top. Shit! I just washed this! Great, now I have to change, and do more laundry.

In the bedroom, I tear through my drawers, bound to find something old to wear. I see that old green flannel that once belonged to Jason. I throw it on, with nothing on underneath. The house is heating up nicely due to the cookies. While I'm at it, I strip out of my sweatpants too. 

Ding! The timer goes off, and I almost trip over the legs of my pants. The Angel! Then strong arms catch me. Thank you, god,! If I fell on my stomach, I don't know what I would have done.

"Ahh!" I turn my head and see the treat that is the worst for my system. "What the hell Jason! Why don't you ever knock?!"

He firmly plants me on my feet. Then he provides distance for us, though I didn't ask for it. "Try locking your doors. Besides I was going to let myself in. Whether you welcomed me or not." He bores into me. Passive, he looks like hell. Maybe sick from the cold, or just tired. If he is sick, he needs to get the hell away from me. Our baby can't become ill, nothing can happen to our little bud. "Sydney, we need to talk." Jason's tone is anything but kind. To be honest I'm clueless. I don't know where this conversation will lead. Before I speak, I clear my throat. 

"About what, exactly?" He fully steps into the room and passes the bed. He's right in front of me now. 

"Listen, I think it's better if we lose all contact with each other. It'll be healthier for all of us." I'm not going to lie. That hurts. Hearing his words causes pain in the pit of my stomach making me sick.

I cannot fathom my life where Jason is no longer involved. Before him I was blindly walking through it. Every day I would just go with the flow, taking day by day, waiting to die like everyone else.