The Wish (Completed)

Chapter 19: Can't Please Everyone

Once Gavin left, I ate my breakfast and got ready for the day. Since it is bright and sunny outside, I chose my army green shorts and white lace tank top, black sandals for my feet. I'll leave my hair natural today, even my face will be natural, no trace of makeup.

By this hour, Axel has to be awake. It is late enough to at least try and call him. Collecting my phone, I punch the numbers in, anxious to hear my son's precious voice.

Phone is at eleven percent, but I don't care. I need to talk to him now. The beeping increases the pain of my headache. I'm never drinking excessively again. Ring...Ring...Ring..."Hello?", Debra's voice breaks through, chipper this morning, making me feel even worse.

At this point I want to shut out every ounce of light, cuddle in bed with my pillows and sleep until I feel better. The greasy breakfast Gavin brought helped a little, but I'm still feeling like hell.

"Debra hi, this is Sydney. How are you doing?" Patiently waiting for her response, pain shoots through my head, causing me to palm my forehead. Oh Tylenol please, my best friend, I need you.

"Ah! Sydney, I was expecting a call from you. Or should I say Axel was. You know, he was a little upset you hadn't called yesterday." She says in that motherly tone like I did something wrong. She's right to speak to me that way. What I did was horrible. I forgot about my son. Knowing that he was waiting for me to call, that I let him down, proves that I am a bad mom. So selfish, only thinking of myself.

"Right. Yesterday was hectic should I say the least. Well if Axel is up and around, I would love to talk to him, please." Silence. Probably rolling her eyes as she thinks to herself, Nothing is more important than your own child. A child should always come first. Which is true, but I'm not on top of my game here.

"Let me go get him quick.", almost sounding annoyed. I hear her place the phone down, silence, complete silence. What if she forgets I'm on the phone? I wish Axel was here. This was a mistake, leaving him. He deserves a vacation too.

Seconds turn into minutes as I wait for Axel to speak. Instead, I'm left with the return of Debra. "I'm sorry Sydney, but Axel doesn't want to speak to you at this time." What?! Is she serious?! This is ridiculous, I know I messed up, but please cut me some slack. I've been put through too much as it is.

Who am I kidding? Axel has been through too much as well. I should yell at her. Tell her to give him the fucking phone so I can talk to him. To tell him how sorry I am, how much I love and miss him. But instead, I remain civil.

"I understand, if that's what he wishes, I suppose I'll have to respect his decision. Although I don't want to." I sigh, the feeling to cry comes up, but I refrain. "Debra please just tell him I love him so much. That I miss him, I think about him all day. Can you do that for me?"

"Well of course dear. I'll do my best to talk him into speaking with you later. Make sure you have your phone with you and the volume high so you won't miss his call." Never. I will not miss his call. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. I'm here for my baby.

"Okay, thank you so much Debra, for everything. Have a good day now. I better get going."

"Alright deary, have fun and be safe. Goodbye now." My phone dies in my hand. I thought my hangover was shitty, my son hating me is ten times worse.

Before I lay down, I plug my phone in and have the volume all the way up. Absolutely nothing can make me feel better. Hopefully nothing makes me feel worse. The room's dim, the TV is on, just so I'm not totally crazy laying around in the dark with my thoughts. Although I am on the weird side. What is normal anyway? Boring, that's what normal is.