The Wish (Completed)

Chapter 38: Bruised

I wake, but not in the arms of my lover like I had hoped. I can feel the heat radiating off of his body, confirming that he is still with me. Lying here resting my eyes, suddenly I feel Jason's body thrash beside me. Rocking back and forth, he arches his back and pounds his fists into the mattress. When a blood curdling scream leaves his vocals, I emerge to his side, fully awake.

Patting his shoulders, I jolt him, "Baby...Jason wake up please. You're having a nightmare." After a few more shakes, he wakes up and grips my shoulders so tight I think my upper body might go numb. "Jason, it's me, Sydney." The wild dark night leaves and the bright clouds reveal in his eyes. Sweat beads across his forehead, muscles bulge, hair a sweaty mess, but he's still so beautiful. His scent, woodsy and hard, even after our session last night. He still smells divine.

He immediately shoots up, letting go of me. He stalks out of the room, into the bathroom. I rub my shoulders, ridding the pain. After five minutes, he comes back to bed, sitting at the edge, knees spread apart, head in his hands. I don't know what he's like during times like this.

Some people just want to be alone, others want to be consoled, I don't want to upset him any further. I decide to prop up on my knees and wrap my arms around his waist from behind. I kiss between his shoulder blades. "Are you okay?", I whisper onto his warm skin. I rake my nails up and down his back, trying to soothe him.

Instead of answering me with words, a horrid sob escapes him. He shakes violently beneath me as he covers his face with his hands. He takes heavy breaths, continuing to cry. I jump off the bed and stand in front of him. I wrap my arms around him and hold him while he cries.

Rocking him from side to side, as if we're on a canoe, softly swaying with each ripple, "It's okay Jason. We don't have to talk about it. Just let it out." I kiss the side of his forehead and try not to cry myself. Seeing him this way, so vulnerable and hurt, is gutting me.

His arms trap my body, hugging me tight. Burying his head in my stomach, I run my fingers through his thick hair. "I need you." His words cut me, because I need him to. I need him to be okay. I'll do anything to make him feel good again.

Watery eyes, knitted brows, I kiss his quivering lips sweetly. It's my turn to take care of you now. And that's what I do, until the sun comes up, I make love to Jason tenderly, pouring everything I have into him, to show him how much I care, because I'm never leaving.

~

The second time around, I wake to Jason watching me. Startled, he rubs my cheek and I turn my head into the palm of his hand. "Good morning sweetheart." His voice is low and raspy. On my side now, he pulls me close, snuggling into him.

I inhale, not able to get over his scent. "Good morning." Though I want to know what's wrong, I don't pressure him. I figure if he wants to talk, he will. As if he read my mind, he sits up against the headboard, pulling me up with him where I straddle him.

His eyes drip to the markings on my shoulders. He kisses the bruises, sorrow in his earthy eyes. "I'm so sorry baby. Dammit. If I had known, been conscious, I would have never touched you like that." I cup his jaw in my hands, forcing his gaze to meet mine. I silence him with a quick kiss.

"You're not my father Jason. I know you'd never hurt me intentionally. I trust you." As if the words lift his spirits, calmness takes over.

"I dreamt about my sister...Finding her in a pool of blood, my dad screaming at me that it was my fault. My mother came to me in the dream too. Standing next to Ali, both screaming at me. Yelling that it's my fault they are dead." His eyes are empty now, a soul that was once filled with love and joy, now a carcass. He doesn't look at me, instead he looks past my shoulders. "I don't know what to do, how to beg for their forgiveness."