Moving on with you (complete)

Twenty Nine

We paid a pricey amount to visit a private doctors in Australia, confirming my pregnancy. She told me I was 9 weeks pregnant, printing off a picture of the bean shaped baby. The heart beat rung in my ears even after we left the room, I couldn't get it out my mind that there were currently two beating hearts inside me, one so small. I couldn't tell if it was the hormones or me but I couldn't stop crying as we walked out the private mini hospital. Harry wrapped his arm around me and lead me to a more private location. Today of all days.

"How did you feel about that?" I asked Harry after the traumatic experience. "It be a lie if i said it didn't make me rethink it." He said fiddling with his fingers.

"I don't think I can end it now." I said whispering hoping he wouldn't be disappointed. "I understand why, it's made it more real." He nodded.

"Like before, I just thought yeah I'm pregnant, like it's just a word. But seeing the baby and hearing it's heart beat. It so more realistic now." I mumbled. "I can't believe how fast it was." He said shocked. "I know, loud too." I added.

"Let's see the picture again." He said while I reached into my bag and pulled it out. "You can kind of see the gist of what it'll look like." He said outlining the imagine with his finger. "It doesn't have legs, isn't that such a weird thought, like this bean is going to grow legs, and arms, and fingers and toes." I laughed, suddenly realising what i had said. Talking as if we weren't about to end the pregnancy. Harry looked down at me and frowned. I couldn't work out what was going on in his head. I never imagined that this would happen, and I never imagined it wouldn't be a happy moment.

"Look, I know we're young. Like really young. And yeah obviously it's not the best time for us. But there are a lot of people doing this in worse off situations. Like we're together, financially stable. We have amazing friends and family for support. We can do this." He said, his voice less convincing.

"But do we want to do this?" I asked, hinting to get his thoughts. After a really long pause Harry looked down at the picture one more time and smiled. "Yeah I want to."

I couldn't help but smile in response. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I was overcome in emotions. "We're actually doing this!" I said almost excited. "We're having a baby." I whispered to myself. Harry hugged me tightly in response and kissed my cheek. We gathered ourselves and walked back to the hotel, his arm around me and my head leaning on him.

In the evening we headed to the beach, our favourite spot out of everywhere we visited. The stars were shinning bright, avoiding the light pollution. We settled in the sand and cuddled up to each other. This was the first time I'd spoken to Alex with anyone, and i couldn't lie it did make me feel a little self conscious.

"Hey Alex." I mumbled. "I can't believe it's been a year already, I miss you with everyday. Even though we're not together you'll always be in my heart." I said looking at Harry, he smiled and nodded letting me know I was okay.

"I'm here with Harry if you can't see us, we're not in our usual spot. We're in Australia, a little surprise. Well two surprises I guess, I have some news." I paused and thought about how to say it. "I'm pregnant, me and Harry are having a baby. I know you'd be happy for me starting a little family. It may not be the one I pictured I'd have over a year ago but none the less it'll be filled with love. Love that you taught me to have. A love that I can now pass onto others. I'm thankful for everything you left me with, I'm thankful for every moment I had with you. And even though it came to an end I'll carry that with me and cherish it. I want my child to know who you were and how much you meant to me, I won't let you be forgotten, ever." I said laying my head on Harry's shoulder feeling content. Listening to the waves crashing in.

"Hey Alex." Harry started to my surprise, I looked up at him in shock. "I know we never met, it's a shame because from the way Eva talks about you, you're someone everyone should know." He said causing my smile to grow, stretching across my face. "I know how much you meant to Eva, and because of that you'll hold a place in our family. I even thought maybe we could name the child after you, since your name works for both a boy and girl, I think maybe you'd appreciate that but I thought it would be nice." He mumbled towards the end obviously feeling slightly awkward.

"Harry." I started, feeling the love and appreciation for him hitting hard. "That's the kindest thing. I know Alex would be smiling right now." I mumbled.

"But I'm not naming my child Alex." I blurted out. "Sorry Alex." I laughed. He laughed in response.

"I have time to convince her." He muttered to the stars. "Maybe a middle name?" I proposed. "I think me and Alex can agree on that." He said making my heart flutter.