ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴘɪʟʟs ~ it/ st oneshots

forever: reddie

tw ! s*icide mentioning and s*lf h*rm viewing

eddie's p.o.v:

" no." i said sternly, crossing my arms over my chest. " there's no way in hell i'm letting you go back to your apartment by yourself tonight. no way in hell." i said, fighting tirelessly to keep the tremor out of my voice. truth was, i was absolutely terrified. but i couldn't let richie know that. i once again wrapped my small hand around richie's forearm, which was covered by a thick sweater, and pulled him into the small living room in my apartment.

" stop it eddie." richie said, shaking his arm free from my grasp. he took a step away from me, my eyes darting upwards to meet his. his eyes looked smaller, and duller, behind his thick coke-bottle glasses then they usually did. after a second of me carefully examining the faded brown of his irises, his eyes immediately moved to looking at the middle of my forehead. i watched a lump rise in his throat, which he quickly swallowed down before clearing his throat. " i'm fine, honest-"

" look me in the eye." i said, marching right up to him. he couldn't possibly think i was that dumb. " look me in the eye and tell me, honestly, that you're fine." i said shakily, looking right up and into his eyes. i was close enough that i could hear the shallow breaths coming out of his mouth, his lips chapped and slightly parted. his eyes widened a little and he swallowed nothing again, his gaze shifting downwards to my nose. they flickered to my eyes momentarily, but he caved, as he paled and looked away right after. i let a huff out of my nose, before my light glare softened and i relaxed. i reached up and cupped one of his cheeks, his skin cold and a little stubbly. i hadn't taken notice of the shadow of hair that'd settled in on his face. i felt my anger wash away, as i stared into his eyes, which darted nervously around my living room.

i decided then and there that english was my new favourite class, because if mrs. burgundy hadn't assigned us that twenty page essay in partners, i didn't think i would've found richie. a short eight minutes had passed since i'd been banging on richie's apartment door, yelling at him to hurry up. the university was only a block away, so it wasn't that big a coincidence that richie and i moved into the same apartment. the only difference was that i moved in two floors above his. we were behind on our essay, far behind, and he'd agreed to come to the small library across the street so we could get some solid work done. it was late, i knew that, but anything to keep that grade a average am i right?

when he didn't answer after a minute of me banging and yelling for him to get his ass out here or i'm gonna do something i grabbed the doorknob and yanked it open. i knew that richie left his apartment door unlocked when he was home, despite my continuous pestering about how unsafe and privacy depriving that was. i had stepped into his apartment, the overbearing smell of take out chinese ( richie's favourite, we ate it together every tuesday when their spring rolls were on sale ) and sweaty unwashed clothes thick in the air. i had scrunched up my nose in disgust, yelling something about how unhygienic he was, before finally finding him.

and the sight had made my heart shatter into millions of tiny pieces. richie was curled up into a little ball, trembling worse then if an earthquake had struck the apartment. he was pressed into the small amount of space between the side of his bathtub and his toilet, his knees hugged to his chest with his face buried in them. a small gasp had escaped my lips, my eyes leaving him and scanning the contents of his bathroom. there was a large kitchen knife sitting on the floor, a good meter away from him or so. next to it was a crumpled piece of paper, his scribbly writing scrawled out on to it in words i couldn't quite make out. when i had run into the small boxy room and snatched up the dangerous object, i had read some of the writing on the page.

it was a suicide note. richie had been planning on killing himself.

it took me over five minutes to coax richie out of the bathroom. it was followed by an awkward minute elevator ride up to my floor. and then, we were in my apartment. i blinked a couple times, looking into richie's eyes even if he wasn't looking back. i sighed, dropping my hand from richie's face. i once again wrapped my hand around richie's arm, forcefully pulling him towards my bedroom. the second i had opened my apartment's door, with dry shaky hands i remembered, he'd started trying to push away while rambling about how he was tired and wanted to go back to his own apartment to sleep. yea, like i was gonna buy that one. i dragged him into the doorway of my bedroom, before i stopped and turned around to look at him.