ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴘɪʟʟs ~ it/ st oneshots

ring: stanlon

requested by Annie_Maria123

warning: heavy sexual themes and brief mention of vomit!

stan awoke with a headache so awful that he felt as if someone was banging their fists repeatedly against his poor skull. he hissed from the pain, trying to sit up, as maybe that would help take some of the pressure off of his throbbing head. the moment stan began to move, however, aches erupted through the rest of his body, and they were so bad that he let out a soft huff of defeat and flopped back down in bed, allowing himself to rest there for a moment longer.

until something hit him. the smell; the sheets beneath his body (which appeared to be caked in dried sweat), the pillow beneath his head of golden curls, the overall smell of the air in the room. it smelt of body-odour, which stan almost NEVER smelt of: he wore way more than enough deodorant, a light perfume, and showered. constantly. not to mention the stench of semen that seemed to be circulating the room as well. something wasn't adding up...

that was when mike chose to wake up. stan's eyes shot open the moment he heard the man beside him grunt and groan, obviously in just as much pain as he was. stan immediately leapt out of bed, grabbing a thick book that had been on the bedside table beside him. stan was in some tighty-whities and a plain black sports bra. why the hell was he in a strange man's bed, in his underwear, with a strange man, that smelt so strongly of sex?!

unless... oh no, stan thought.

" who... who are you?" stan demanded a moment later, his legs beginning to shake just as his voice did. the stranger grunted and pushed himself on to his hands and knees, and stan felt his mouth begin to involuntarily water at the sight of his broad back muscles tensing, before he shook his head and watched the stranger roll over. stan raised the thick book up and over his head, prepared to beat the living shit out of the stranger with it, even though he was insanely adorable.

" whoa whoa whoa, wait," the man said, and stan nearly sighed from how dreamy and deep his voice sounded; but then stan reminded himself of the situation, and white knuckled the heavy book that he was still holding above his head. then the man groaned and rubbed his tired eyes with his strong hands, and stan found himself holding back a sigh again.

" i-i-i asked you a question," stan said again, his voice cracking as he said so. his cheeks immediately flared up a deep rosy hue, but he quickly shook his head and forced himself to focus again. c'mon stanely. keep your cool.

" i'm mike... mike hanlon," the handsome man, mike probably (stan didn't trust him) said. " who are you? what're you doing in my bedroom?" he said quietly, which provoked stan to have a quick glance around the room that they were in. the walls were a light daffodil yellow, there were small potted plants on nearly every surface as well as hanging from the ceiling, and he had a lovely bedspread that had an image of a beautiful meadow printed on it. although stan thought that the room was beautiful, and desired to continue to look around, something caught his eye that peeked his interest just a little bit more. some kind of certificate, that had been laid haphazardly across the end of mike's bed. stan glanced up momentarily, and realized with a gulp, that the strange man he had been in bed with was looking at the exact same thing.

stan slowly lowered the book from above his head, setting it down on the bedside table beside mike's head. he gave him a look though, as if to say don't even think about trying anything, before he reached out and carefully took the certificate into his hands. he didn't have his bifocals on, and it didn't look like they were anywhere in that strange mans room, but he tried his hardest to read the paper in front of him. it seemed... oddly familiar.