Critical Thinking ✔

43

Clyde was gone, he liked Farley, I liked Bookie, I liked Farley, Bookie was Farley.
These things invaded my head the entire weekend and didn't stop when the next day of school came. I wasn't ready to face Farley. And whenever I talked to Bookie I made it short since I didn't know what to do. It made me feel guilty, but he seemed to be very down and busy. It felt like he wanted to be alone so I felt less guilty but it was still there.

The total issue...it's not like it was a problem...right? I didn't know, all I knew is that I felt weird. But I was somewhat relieved. And multiple feelings bubbled up that I just couldn't quite understand. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to others about it. All I really had was Clyde to talk to about it, but he likes Farley so I would feel too bad to talk about it to him. So I just tried to keep myself busy, especially with preparing for the Band Field Trip.

"You're tense." Vic says making me snap back to reality, I realized I was tapping my fingers loudly on my desk.

"Sorry." I mumbled before the bell rang, and our math teacher dismissed us.

"You don't have to apologize, just tell me what's up?" he says while we walk out of class and I shake my head.

I avoided everyone like the plague, for the most part. I even tried to sit at the end of the lunch table alone. Without Clyde here there wasn't really anyone but Vic who would try to come at me to figure out what was up. Okay, maybe Lily would send me text messages but give me space. And Cory might give me a few worried glances and possibly try to start off a conversation near the topic but stir away from it usually.

I hear a noise against the table across from me. Someone has just placed their tray down, when I obviously was trying to be alone. I glance up from my lunch tray of food to see none other than Farley himself. I forgot to mention, that he was the person who would not let things go if I said nothing or tried to avoid his questions. He may eventually leave me alone but he might not and just may come back to it.

"Hey.." Farley breathes out flopping down in the chair across from me.

I stare at him as my brain tries to work out this situation. The person I'm really trying to avoid is right in front of me. And I probably would not be able to escape. I let out a breath and mumble random words that make no sense instead of cursing.

Farley quirks an eyebrow my way as he takes a huge bite from his taco. Taco sauce drips down from his lips to his chin. I grumble glancing away as my face heats up. After a moment of silence and me trying to avoid his looks and any of our friends' looks as they come to the table, by eating my food he breaks the silence.

"So, are you avoiding us because of Clyde?" he asks after swallowing and drowns the taco down with some chocolate milk.

A chocolate milk mustache formed above his lips. If this wasn't a serious moment I would have laughed and pointed it out. But I was trying to be serious, I was trying not to give in to him.

"I'm avoiding someone, not all of you." I say choking on a bit of laughter that tried to escape.

"Then who are you avoiding? And don't you think we're all upset about Clyde?" he says frowning and I bite my lip glancing down.

"I know, it's kind of about something else. I just need some time alone to think." I say glancing up at him a little.

"Well...I kind of need someone here for me. And I think you do too with whatever is going on." he says furrowing his eyebrows.

I jumped at the opportunity. "What's wrong?" I ask frowning.

I did care, it just so happened this also could get things off me. I might not be able to avoid him but at least I could try to avoid the topic. It would help me get over it...and I could still think about it on my own time and try to sort things out.

"Nothing big, it's just that the mayor is deciding to destroy the park I use to go to as a child." he sighs glancing away. "I was going to ask everyone to see if they could help but I know that many don't care or know about the park."

"So why are you telling me?" ended up leaving my lips and he looked at me quickly.

"I um..." he taps his fingers on the table looking away from me. "I haven't been able to talk to a friend about it since it seems they don't want to talk to me anymore." he mumbles.

Did he catch on? I frowned a little and decided on something. My feelings for Bookie and...Farley did not matter at that moment. What mattered was our friendship, and Farley could tell me he was Bookie when he was ready. And when I'm ready, I'll tell Book- I'll tell him how I feel for him.

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to-" I started to say.

"It's not you." he says quickly and laughs a little.

Was he talking about Clyde then...? I felt a pang at my heart and pressed my lips together. I didn't understand why I felt this way. Bookie did say he liked someone...was it Clyde? Did Clyde think it was me so he pushed me to go after him? My throat felt like it was burning as my heart felt like it was aching. I felt sick suddenly.

"Well I'll stop avoiding you anyway, and the others." I say as my voice shakes a little. I give him a tight smile, trying to be reassuring.

"Good, just talk to us if you want. I'm always here you know." he says his hand moving on the table slightly, and suddenly freezes when it is near my tray. He draws his hand back giving me a tight smile of his own. I frowned, a little confused and decided to just ask more of the issue about the park.

~ Thank you all for reading! I love you all! And hope you enjoyed the chapter ❤😊