Greed and Despond (Ban x Sin!Reader)

71

I gasped, scrambling backward until I was pressed against a tree, which began to crumble into ash. I was sobbing still, whimpering as I stared (probably looking horrifically ugly, per usual) at the people standing in front of me.

First, there was Diane, who was still our size at the moment. She was staring at me in disbelief, her face scrunched up in confusion and pain as she stared at me. Her hands were closed in fists, and she was trembling, looking on the brink of either punching me or crying. She was the one who had spoken up, cutting me off and making me realize that they had seen- and found- me.

Next to her were Ellie and Hawk. Ellie had her hand over her mouth as tears spilled down her cheeks, her body shaking as she stared at me. Hawk, from just in front of her, had his jaw slack and eyes wide. I could see anger building behind them, as he wasn't one to get sad, but rather angry when it came to situations like this.

Emma... oh, god, Emma... The small girl was standing next to Hawk, snot sneaking out from her nose as she tried to look strong- and I could tell she was trying really hard. Occasionally, a tear would fall down her cheek, and her bottom lip was quivering at the effort of holding back her whimpers and cried. Her hands shook, clutching the bottom hem of her dress. She must've come to the Boar Hat looking for me...

Merlin was standing just behind all of them, her usual calm, cool demeanor gone as she stared down at me. She looked pained, sad- like she had just witnessed a death or something. They all seemed sad and angry.

Geez, I did it again...

Then there was King and Ban. They were standing behind all of the girls (and Hawk), clearly trying to be unnoticed. Ban was standing behind a tree, not daring to look at me, but I could tell something was wrong with him. King was staring at me, looking guilty and absolutely heartbroken. He wasn't floating- he was standing. His pillow lay discarded next to him on the floor, a single tear falling down his right cheek.

The tree behind me disintegrated completely, and I clutched my head, hugging my knees closer to my chest. I rocked back and forth, sobbing harder as I tried to speak coherently.

God, this is all my fault...

"Please go away," I sobbed, my voice hoarse and absolutely despairing. "Please, please, please, please, please... please just leave me alone! Go away... go away- away, away, I want you away, please!"

If it wasn't for me being so stupid and selfish...

"Please, I cant deal with this right now!" I cried, "I can't deal with you staring and judging and feeling bad and having more problems all because of me! Stupid, stupid, stupid, I'm so stupid..."

They wouldn't be here, having to deal with me...

"Stop! I don't want you to deal with me...! I just want it all to stop, I want everything to stop! Just make it stop, stop, stop! Make it go away! Go away!" My voice went down in volume, now just above a hoarse whisper. I was shaking so hard, I thought everyone else could feel it. "Please... I want... I just want it all to stop..."

They wouldn't have yet another burden on their shoulders...

"(Y/N), you stupid idiot!" Diane sobbed, tears falling from her face as she ran toward me crying her eyes out. She wrapped me in a hug I wasn't expecting, and I gasped, ceasing all whining and sobbing. I went dead silent. "You dumb, dumb, dumb, dummy! Why would you think that?! I thought we were friends! I supposed to deal with you! I'm supposed to help you with this stuff! You idiot!"

"(Y/N)..." Ellie whimpered through her tears, stumbling into a hug as well, wrapping her arms around me as she cried too. "I'm so sorry that you were feeling this way... why didn't you tell us! We- hic- we could've helped! W-we will help! Just please... don't push us away..!"