glow [s. rogers]

31

the flight back to the compound was terrible to say the least. it was incredibly awkward, no one knew what to say, if to say anything at all. the only sound came from the whirring engine and slight sniffles, everyone was crying. it was just that some were better at hiding it than others.

it was obvious that the whole team had suffered a loss, everyone lost.

thanos snapped away half of the world, half of the universe. the same world and the same universe that belonged to everyone. but steve couldn't understand why thanos had snapped away his entire world! his entire universe!

his best friend since childhood? dust.

his best friend since coming out of the ice? dust.

the love of his life? dust.

he blamed himself. he wasn't there for them when they needed him, so they left and he couldn't help but feel as though it was all his fault.

when the jet landed in the field, no one made a move. they all just sat there, soaking up the despair like sunshine.

usually, delilah, sam, and bucky would race to see who could get off the jet faster. but delilah, sam, and bucky were all gone.

natasha took a deep breath and lead the team off the ship. she was the soul of the avengers so even when no one wanted to, not even here, she had to hold her head high and continue the journey, no matter the loss. despite half of the team being gone, they had to walk forward.

slowly, they filed into the compound. no word came from tony, he hadn't come to wakanda,
so many of them assumed the worst: he was dead.

while the others went away to their own rooms,
wishing to sulk in peace. cap stayed in the common room, flopping down on the couch.

he hadn't felt pain like this since he lost bucky, the first time. the fact of the matter was that he wasn't ready to have that pain multiplied by three.

"steve?" natasha called, not getting too close to him in fear he would lash out.

"i'm fine."

she shook her head, "no you're not."

without thinking, steve punched hard, right through the coffee table in front of him.

"steve!"

"i'm fine! it's just a damn coffee table!" he yelled, storming off.

"where are you going?" she called, despite being afraid of him for awhile before realizing she could kick his ass if she needed to.

"can you just leave me alone? i lost everyone who was important to me today!"

she looked at him once and shook her head, "you're such a piece of shit, rogers. i lost people today too, but we have to be thankful for who we have left."

immediately, he softened, realizing the pain and hatred behind his words. he wasn't a bad man or a bad person, he was just in a bad place.

"nat, i'm sorry. i didn't mean it, i'm so sorry."

"can you just go, please?" she asked, her voice cracking a little.

he nodded and left the room to shower and finally shave this stupid beard.

but before he went to his bathroom he stopped in the room next to his, the room that once belonged to delilah and still had all the furnishings to prove it.

she wasn't there long enough to fully decorate. but there was still enough of her there, enough of her aura to haunt the room forever.

he laid in her yellow comforter for a bit, taking in the scent and coming to terms with the fact that what they had here was all that was left of her. it was all they had left of anyone who was snapped away.