glow [s. rogers]

bonus

old steve stayed for awhile even after coming back from his life with peggy. delilah couldn't stand it, she kept her distance and avoided him at all costs. it wasn't her fault, she wasn't trying to be rude, it just hurt too much.

so as steve sat in the kitchen to eat his eggs and prune juice, or whatever the hell old people eat for breakfast, delilah snagged her cereal and took it outside to the balcony where she would usually go to escape the world.

after pepper basically kicked them out of the lake house, bucky, sam, and delilah moved into the apartment where she used to live with oliver. oliver had relocated and was now living in the avalon house full time, remaining in constant contact with delilah and occasionally with bucky.

when she stepped onto the balcony she expected to be alone, the way she liked it. steve leaving had made her kind of like a hermit, but she didn't see the need to be social either.

"i can see why you like it so much out here." it was sam, he was holding a bagel and looking out over the bustling city as horns blared and people yelled down below.

"the chaos is calming, i guess. i'm alone but i'm not at the same time."

"why'd you turn thor down?"

delilah was confused by the sudden change in conversation topic, she didn't want to talk about the same things sam did.

"excuse me?"

he rolled his eyes as if to imply his constant point, i'm not stupid, everly. "you could've been the queen of new asgard, why'd you say no?"

she wasn't sure how to answer that, it had been a hard decision. although she had pure asgardian heritage, light burning in her veins, and the poise to rule, it just wasn't what she wanted. the truth was, after steve left, she didn't feel like doing much of anything. she still took pictures, for bucky, just to help him remember everything. and she still tried so
desperately to be happy, even if it felt like she was grasping at nothing.

"valkyrie deserved it. i'm not fit to rule, really i'm not in much better condition than thor."

he just shook his head, "love the guy, but thor has some serious mental illnesses along with his alcoholism that i wish he would seek legitimate help for."

"i have." her voice was small and weak, displaying exactly how she felt.

"you have?"

she nodded, "everything fucked me up i guess. i go to a therapist, dr. marsha, we talk about thanos, the snap, and..."

"steve." she nodded again sadly, hating to admit that she had to seek mental help for the damage in her mind. but it wasn't weak, it was strong and she was getting better.

"he loved you, you know." he smiled, jerking his head to the inside where steve sat by himself at the kitchen table.

she just cracked a lazy but hurt smile, refusing to turn and look at what was left of her lover.

"i know. i was there. i saw it."

delilah didn't mean to sound rude, but she hated sam for saying that. saying it like it was easy, like she hadn't heard it a million times before, like she hadn't already been told that there were other fish in the sea.

"then why'd you let him go? he would've stayed if you wanted him to."

"i loved him too, but i wanted him to stay for him, not for me."

sam just shook his head like he was annoyed, once again, and made his way inside.

he called into steve, "she's not listening to me!"