A Case Reopened [AN SVU Fan Fic]

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Olivia went inside and started to get undressed as Lou shut the door and trudged towards their bedroom.

"Are you angry at me?" Olivia breathed, as she carried her wet clothes into their bedroom before tossing them into the hamper.

"Why would I be angry at you?" Lou questioned, and Olivia looked at her as tears ran down her rain covered cheeks.

"Because I made you get out of bed. I bet you were completely comfy and sleeping deeply." Olivia mumbled. She grabbed a towel from the bathroom and started to dry herself off, as her fiancee came into the bathroom and just stared at her.

"One thing you need to know is that I will never be angry at you for pulling me out of bed. Even when I'm 30 weeks pregnant and feel like a whale." Lou replied.

"I'm never going to be able to have a baby, Lou. You'll just-"

"Why do you think you won't be able to have babies?" Lou questioned rapidly.

"It'll just lead us to more and more heartache. Mathias will have siblings look like him if you keep having the babies. Maybe he won't even want me to have a baby because then they won't look the same. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable with his family." Olivia replied. She walked past Lou and started to get changed. Once she was in dry clothes, she walked over and slowly grabbed her pillow from the bed.

"You are his mother, Liv." Lou breathed, as she tried to keep her anger at bay.

"You are his mother, Lou. I'm nothing to him." She whimpered.

She was so lost and confused and sad, and Lou knew that. But there was no way in hell that she was going to argue with Olivia this late at night and when she doesn't want to talk.

"You take the bed-" Lou started.

"You're the pregnant one. You sleep in the bed and I'll sleep on the couch."

///

Lou had a hard time sleeping once she climbed back into bed. She could hear Olivia cry for a while, before hearing her start to snore. It sounded like she was getting sick already, and Lou was very concerned for her fiancee. Eventually, sleep claimed her.

Lou woke up to her fiancee just walking out of the bathroom after taking her shower. She was fully dressed and was going to leave the bedroom without even waking up her fiancee.

"Are you feeling better this morning?" Lou breathed as she pushed herself up in bed.

"No," Olivia replied. She didn't want to lie to Lou, because she wanted to give her a chance to leave if she didn't feel as confident about their relationship as she had before.

"Do you really think that you are nothing to Mathias? Because that is stupid. You are his mother. He is going to be blessed with two moms that love him so much." Lou spoke. Olivia shrugged as she walked over and opened the bedroom door.

Lou moved from the bed as quickly as possible, before rushing into the living room where Olivia was turning on the TV to watch the news.

"Don't just shrug, Olivia. Tell me what you are thinking so I can help you!" Lou exclaimed.

"Serena told me that I don't know anything about being a parent because I couldn't even carry the baby to term. Stella used to tell me that even if you got pregnant or I did... that the baby would still only have a father and a mother. She said that you would have a baby with the donor and that I'd be nothing more than an Aunt or a friend. I know that that is true. I can't do anything for him. You are going to be special to him and I won't be." Olivia breathed. 

She turned and walked over to where her keys and phone were. She grabbed them before going to leave.

"You won't be leaving this house without talking to me!" Lou yelled, and Olivia felt the hair stand up on the back of her neck.

"I'm not good enough for you. I'll never be good enough for you. You are too good for me. You are the most amazing woman in this world, and I just keep disappointing you. First, it was when I was having a hard time coming out. Then it was when I lost the baby. Now... now it's everything. I can't do anything right. I talked, now leave me alone." Olivia spoke. 

She didn't even kiss Lou goodbye before she slipped from their house. Lou just stared at the door as it shut. She hated that one stupid little comment from Serena had torn Olivia down. She was no longer the strong and completely fearless woman she was. Now she's depressed, lacking all confidence, and smaller than she had ever been before.

///

Lena woke up and even if her parents were angry at her, she needed to bitch her mother out for hurting Liv. She drove quickly over to her parents' house and got out. She ran up the steps and unlocked the doors before stomping towards the kitchen where she heard her mother making tea as usual.

"You are a bitch." Lena spat, and Serena turned around quickly and looked at her daughter.

"Excuse me?" She huffed.

"Saying that to Liv was horrible. It was like a bomb going off in her life! She doesn't think she is Mathias' mother! She doesn't think she is worthy of Lou! You might have caused their relationship to end!" Lena yelled.

"I didn't say a thing to her! What the hell are you talking about!?" Serena exclaimed.

"You told her that she had no idea what being a parent is because she couldn't even carry a baby to term," Lena growled. Serena eyed her with so much confusion, but it quickly faded to guilt as she started to remember what she said.

"Oh no." Serena breathed.

"She loves Lou so much. She loves Mathias so much. But she's so willing to walk out on them now because she doesn't have any confidence anymore. Either apologize or figure something out. Before she runs away."

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