A Case Reopened [AN SVU Fan Fic]

Chapter Thirty-Seven

At the luncheon, Olivia sat in the corner of the room and kept her eyes focused on her hands as she played with her engagement ring. She had only gone to two funerals before in her life, and she had never been this anxious and angry at those ones.

"You are one of Dwayne's daughters, correct?" A man dressed in a Coast Guard dress uniform spoke.

"I guess," Olivia mumbled, as she kept her eyes focused above his head.

"You guess? Aren't you his stepdaughter? Well, his daughter even if you aren't biologically his daughter? He was very quick to correct anyone when they questioned if you were his daughter." The man spoke. Olivia bit her lip as she looked down at her hands again.

"He shouldn't have loved me as his daughter. He shouldn't have told people that I'm his daughter. I don't deserve that title, and I have never deserved his love." Olivia breathed before she stood and walked past the man. She grabbed her jacket from one of the hooks and tried to make her getaway, but Lou had seen her try to run out and she quickly grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"You aren't walking out, Olivia. I don't care if you are gonna cry or have a panic attack. You need this just as much as the rest of your family does. We need to see you cry and freak out because that means you are dealing with your pain and anxiety." Lou replied.

"I hate you." Olivia sobbed.

"Oh, I know you do, baby." Lou cooed, as she stepped forward and hugged her fiancee tightly. Olivia clung to Lou as her body shook intensely.

"I miss him so much, and I hate that he never got to meet Mathias. Our sweet baby will never meet my Dad." Olivia sniffled.

"But now your father is taking care of our little girl in heaven. He may not have been able to meet Mathias, but he gets to meet his granddaughter."

///

Serena felt incredibly numb as she talked to people and heard stories about her husband. She hadn't heard many of those before, which made it easy for her to just sit and zone out while listening to stories of her husband being a hero or him being a goof during college and his training.

Serena sat and listened for a few hours, before feeling her hands being moved from her lap. She blinked a few times before seeing Emma standing in front of her.

"Mommy?" Emma whispered, and Serena just gave her daughter a small nod before drawing her onto her lap and holding her daughter close.

"Are you doing okay, Emma?" Serena asked as she kissed her hair.

"I don't want to be here anymore," Emma whispered.

"I know, but it's almost over. We just have to be here for a few more hours then-" Serena didn't finish her statement before Olivia walked over.

"So, Lou and I are going to head home. Mathias is fussy and we are just so exhausted. I'm sorry that we couldn't stay longer." Olivia breathed.

"Don't apologize. But would you mind taking Emma home with you? I'll swing by to pick her up after this is over with." Serena spoke, and Olivia looked at her little sister hesitantly before nodding slowly.

"Yeah. We can do that. Get your jacket, Emma." Olivia spoke. She looked down at her mother for a few moments before speaking.

"Mom, I really am sorry for leaving. This is just so much, and I think that Mathias can feel my emotions and is fussy just like I feel like I am." Olivia breathed.

"Just go Liv. We can talk about this another time." Serena spoke, and Olivia nodded slowly.

"Love you, Mom," Olivia spoke, awkwardly.

"Yeah." Serena sighed.

///

It was about a month after Dwayne died and Mathias was born, that Serena came around again. She needed her time to grieve, and part of her process was to block out Olivia and her feelings towards her. Just like how Olivia thought she killed Dwayne, Serena felt that Olivia did it too. She was so angry that Olivia had to fight with them during an already stressful time.

"Alright, so I'm going to get the sink going so we can give Mathias a bath. Then you have to get some sleep before work tomorrow." Lou spoke, as Olivia walked to the front door to see whoever was here. She and Lou hadn't left the house in a while, so she hadn't asked anyone to come over. Lena was living back at home and never came to visit, so Olivia knew it wasn't her.

Olivia opened the door and her eyes went wide when she saw her mother standing there.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Olivia breathed.

"I think that it's time we talk, Liv," Serena replied.

"Uh, it's kinda late-"

"It's 7. There is plenty of time for us to talk." Serena huffed.

"What do we need to talk about?" Olivia sighed as she let her mother into the house before shutting the door quietly.

"We need to talk about what you did."

"What I did? We haven't talked for 3 weeks, so I don't think that I've done anything." Olivia replied. She heard Lou walk out of the kitchen, and she turned to look at her.

"Is something wrong?" Lou asked.

"Babe, just go get Mathias... I'll be there to help soon. I promise." Olivia spoke. Lou nodded slowly and went to get their son. 

"You killed your stepfather, Olivia," Serena spoke, and Olivia felt her chest tighten.

"I guess that confirms it then." Olivia breathed.

"Glad you feel the same." Serena huffed.

"I was just starting to feel better. Like I was going to be able to move on and not feel guilty for Dwayne dying... but that is never going to happen." Olivia whispered. She hated that Serena referred to Dwayne as her stepfather, but she was thankful that at least she felt that Olivia killed him. It made it more concrete in Olivia's head.

"Your siblings tried to tell me that it wasn't your fault, but then I brought it to light for them. They realized that it was your fault too. Just don't ruin your fiancee and her son's lives like the way you have ruined mine and the kid's."

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