False Starts || Dave Grohl

Chapter 15

"Count What's Left When It's All Gone Wrong"

February 20, 1991

Tacoma, WA

"Dave will you stop calling already?" Shelli was exasperated as she responds to my boyfriend over the phone once again. "Whenever she's finally ready to talk to you again, she'll either call or go home."

Home...

Ever since our first night together out on the marsh walk, Dave felt like home. He's been my rock; the only person I could ever truly trust with my secrets and vice versa. We did everything we could to keep the other happy, not because we had to, but because we wanted to.

Now though, when I think of Dave there's a dull ache in my chest. Heavily contrasting from the usual flutter. The thought of seeing him in person now, a month later, still makes me sick to my stomach. I love him, but actions speak louder than words.

"No, she hasn't gone back to Virginia you idiot," Shelli groans as the brunette man continued to pry information out of our friend. "She has a right to leave your sorry ass if she wants to Grohl. You hurt her in more ways than one. The girl is still trying to recover from Eva, and you think the silent treatment you've been giving her is helpful?"

Every nerve in my body went off at the mention of our dead daughter's name. "David Eric stop and listen to yourself!" The heated conversation made me feel like I was intruding on a family fight, but I couldn't find the strength to get off the Novoselic's couch.

"Grow up Dave." With that the landline was slammed against the receiver and Shelli let out a frustrated scream. "For someone who's trying so hard to talk to you, he sure hasn't figured out what he's going to say when he does."

As the older woman joined me on the couch, I just continued to stare ahead in silence. The image of Dave flirting with that girl replaying through my head like a sick soap opera moment. "If I could go home... I would."

"Don't say that," Shelli's eyes widened at my honesty, "You two can't let this tear you a part."

Tears welled up in my eyes; my hatred for the long-haired drummer growing. "I'm sick of feeling like this Shelli; like I'm always walking on eggshells. Most of all I'm sick of crying all the time. I'm not some emotional wreck." I lean forward on my knees, allowing my face to fall into my hands. "I love him so much and for that, I hate him."

"Sweetheart," Her soft hand touched my cheek hesitantly, waiting for a reaction that never came. "Please look up at me." When I lifted my head, she guided my chin so I could look her in the eye, "You need to remember how young you and Dave actually are. Problems are meant to arise in the beginning of a relationship, and him being in a band doesn't make it any easier. Trust me I've been in your shoes, and still am."

All I could do was stare at the other woman, begging her to continue to speak so I wouldn't have to. "Both of you are going to make major mistakes in your lives; you just have to live and learn. Get through the problems and come back stronger than you were before."

"Shelli I really don't think there's any coming back stronger after... her." I knew if I said her name, I was going to break down again. "Dave has been cold, and I don't even think he realizes it."

"Rose," she sighed and glanced down at her wedding band, "Listen to me when I tell you this. You and Dave, the way you look at each other, it's as if the other is lighting up the world. Krist and I don't do that. Yeah, we're married, and yeah, we love each other, but we aren't each other's soul mates."

She reached forward, wrapping her arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a tight hug. "Soul mates don't always end up together Shelli." I hide my face in her shoulder, her soft sweater reminding me of nights where my mother would read to me as a child.