False Starts || Dave Grohl

Chapter 35

"I'm Here, And I'm On The Mend My Friend"

January 13, 1992

New York City, New York

Waking up to a cold bed is one of the worst feelings in the world when you know your loved one is hurting in the next room over. Krist and Dave's voices were hushed, but I could still hear their quiet discussion through the thin walls.

"Is she okay Krist?" My right hand clenches the white bedsheets next to me where Dave should be lying, rather than asking his bandmate questions like this. "She really freaked all of us out earlier and I need to know that she's okay. Too much has happened in this last year man and now Kurt does this..."

Tears sting my eyes as I recount all the downfalls I've encountered in the last year. It's like Seattle was the beginning of Dave's ultimate fairy tale and my own personal hell.

My knuckles were white from clutching the sheets so tightly, but I couldn't bring myself to release them. Happily accepting the pain that the grip was causing my body; reminding myself that I am in fact still alive and breathing.

"Calm down man." I can picture the scene perfectly in my head. Krist placing a calming hand on his younger bandmates shoulder while Shelli watches the encounter from the other side of the room. "She's asleep now and needs to rest. We talked a little, but she passed out within the first five minutes of our conversation. She's exhausted, both mentally and physically."

I let out a staggered breath, finally releasing the air I'd been holding in. "So... I can't go in there with her."

"I'd let her sleep through the night," Shelli says softly, "Krist can check on her again in the morning if you need him to."

A sigh escapes my mouth as I roll onto my back, locking my blue eyes on the poorly painted hotel ceiling above. Yellow spots stain the white paint, more than likely caused by years of guests smoking in the small room.

"She's going to leave me man..." My breath hitched, every nerve in my body waking up when Dave's words hit my eardrums. "I'm not worth all of this trauma. I haven't seen her this jumpy since we met and there's hardly ever a smile on her face anymore; it physically hurts me knowing I can't make her happy."

But you do...

A loud crash makes me flinch, signaling that something had either been bumped into or thrown across the room. "David!" When a door slammed, I knew he was gone, leaving Shelli and Krist alone in the small hotel room without so much as a sorry for his aggressive actions.

"He'll be okay Shell..."

"For everyone's sake," She pauses, making me wonder what she was doing on the other side of the wall. "I sure hope you're right Novoselic. Rose is my best friend and I'm just as worried, if not more worried, than Dave is. She has skeletons in her closet and that alone is altering her mental health..."

Silence followed, signaling that the conversation was over, and I am once again left with only my thoughts.

---

"Come on Krist I don't want to do shit," I groan and try to snatch my arm out of the taller man's grip. After overhearing the argument in the Novoselic residence early this morning, I couldn't bring myself to fall back asleep. Too lost in my own dark thoughts to concentrate on my body's exhaustion.

I was once again ignored, his grip tightening on the sleeve of my hoodie as he pulls me through the empty hotel hallway. He was determined, attention focused on the path ahead of us rather than my incessant begging.