False Starts || Dave Grohl

Chapter 34

"And Tonight I Thank The Stars, As I Count My Lucky Scars"

January 12, 1992

New York City, New York

The never-ending bustle of the big apple was oddly calming on this cold morning, reminding me faintly of Washington D.C. during rush hour traffic. Cars were constantly speeding up and slowing down, wasting gas left and right as the drivers attempt to maneuver through traffic.

I lean up against the balcony railing with my forearms, clutching my winter coat closer to my body as an icy breeze blew past my face. The night had been one where my insomnia flared up, resulting in me staring up at the ceiling for five hours while Dave softly snored at my side.

The two of us had spent our night studying a book about aliens I had discovered while Shelli and I were out having 'girl time'. A better title for the event would have been 'verbally harassing Rose for hiding such important information from her best friend' though. 

She wasn't angry, it's my personal health and I can share whatever I want with whoever I want, but she truly couldn't believe I didn't come to her for advice or emotional support.

I sigh, pulling a pack of cigarettes from my jacket pocket, frowning at the sight of Kurt's pack rather than my own. "Shit..." After witnessing one of Kurt's many drug induced episodes at NBC studios yesterday, the two of us went on a short walk around the parking garage in hopes of having privacy.

"I'm getting worried about you Kurt..."

"There's nothing to worry about." His pale complexion and nausea told me differently though.

I stop in my tracks, grabbing the blond's wrist in order to stop him from walking on. "I don't want you to die Kurt. You don't look good."

"Blossom," A giddy smile, obviously caused from his high, appeared on the front man's face. "We all die eventually."

One thing I hate more than anything is talking to Kurt when he's high off his ass. Nothing ever gets through to him in those moments, and recently, that's the only state he has been in when I'm around.

My hand squeezes around the case of Marlboro's, annoyed at my negligence. Now I have to return his shit to him while Courtney is in town...

Or you could just keep them...

I knew it was in my best interest to forget about the pack, call it my own and leave the couple alone, but deep down I wanted to check on the singer after yesterday. Nevermind had officially topped the charts, bumping Dangerous down to number two. That combined with Saturday Night Live, an MTV session, and demanding interviews is enough to make even the most stable of minds crack.

Without a second thought I take a final drag from my cigarette before stubbing it out on the ashtray I'd brought out with me.

Dave was still sound asleep on our bed; his upper body now sprawled out on my side as he clutches my pillow to his chest. It was one of those moments where I wished I had a camera casually laying around to snap photos, but I guess a mental picture is good enough for now....

As the door clicks shut behind me, I can't help but frown at how easily I'm returning to old habits; worrying about others and their well-being more than my own. Jade's faded memory pops into my head, but I shake it away and continue towards Kurt's bedroom door.

"Do not EVER disturb. We are fucking!" The altered sign outside the door makes me laugh, "Good to know..."

My knuckles lightly rap against the door, knowing one half of the happy couple was about to chew my head off for appearing at their doorstep so early in the morning. When there is no response, I knock again, only louder this time.