False Starts || Dave Grohl

Chapter 45

"Hey! Wait! I've Got A New Complaint"

Present

Toronto, ON

"Of course, you guys would make me wear a dress and look like a fucking tourist on your last night here," I grumble under my breath as I slide into the circular booth next to Bean. "You're lucky you're my best friends or else I would've ditched you at the door."

Amy can't help but crack a smile before sliding in on my other side, "Rosemary do me a favor and shut up. You love the tourist shit, stop denying it."

"If you think I'm actually going to admit to that, you're insane." I follow Frances' lead, placing the off-white cloth napkin across my lap before letting myself finally relax. With the young Cobain at my side all afternoon, the paparazzi thought it was necessary to follow us everywhere.

Never in my life have I been badgered so much, but I know it is only the beginning of what I will be dealing with for the rest of my life. I will no longer be seen as the 'old family friend' that Frances visits in Toronto or the music intern turned 'music mixing genius' (their words not mine), rather I will be seen as the woman who fucked two of three members of Nirvana. A homewrecker.

"Get out of that head of yours." Frances' soft voice fills my ears as she places a hand on top of my own, "Everyone else is irrelevant. They can think and say what they want, but the people who matter know the truth Rose."

"Bean I'm worried about my credibility as a producer more so than what people say to my face," I pinch the bridge of my nose with my pointer finger and thumb before glancing up and locking eyes with Casey. A sorrowful look was on the psychiatrists' face which told me all that I needed to know; my career won't survive if I don't step up.

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January 23, 1993

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

This weeklong trip to Brazil has officially taken the top slot of my 'Worst Trips with Nirvana' list, so much so that it overtook the morning Kurt overdosed and almost died in his hotel bathroom.

To start, Dave is hardly around and when he is physically next to me, his mind is somewhere else. When we do talk, we argue until make up sex is the only 'logical' option we have left. It's been a constant cycle of this since I hopped on a plane back to Seattle with him in September.

Rather than taking the time to fix our relationship, we've done everything humanly possible to avoid being in the apartment at the same time as one another. I even went as far as getting a day job to avoid the awkward home situation I am currently in.

Other than my obvious relationship problems, storms have also been brewing over the other two members. Kurt is an absolute mess right now. His stomach problems have only gotten worse with time and I'm starting to believe this is due to the mixtures of drugs he is constantly injecting, snorting, or drinking into his system.

In Sao Paulo, I walked in on him and Krist snorting lines in the bathroom while Dave was propped in the doorway talking with them as if it was an everyday occurrence. Shelli was pissed when I told her about what I had walked in on and chewed Krist a new one that night, resulting in my tall friend avoiding me for the rest of the week.

Since then, it's been an ever-growing downward spiral for me. 

Courtney is here, obviously, and has done everything in her power to once again make my life a living hell. She pulls Dave off with her every chance she gets, and he won't put up a fight to stay. 

What was the point in me coming here? I don't know.

Now, I am hiding in the midst of the Rio de Janeiro crowd as the band once again butchers their performance. To Kurt, these two shows in Brazil are one big joke that Courtney forced him to do for the money. Two of the largest crowds in the band's history, and he's making a fool of himself because he hates the capitalist promotion it supports...