Love during the times of war [Rusame] UNDER HEAVY EDITING

~Chapter 36: Over thinking~

As days passed, along with mornings and nights, still no sign of him.

At this point he started to lose his hope and faith maybe he really didn't want to see him, never ever again.

Though he still has a few things that are fuzzy, like where he lives he is not sure. Day after day, visit after visit it hurts him a bit more.

So he started to write letters or poems let's say on how he misses him, you know the cheesy stuff and give it to Canada to give to America and everytime he gives a letter to him he looks at Russia and just nods never really says anything after that. Though he tries to ask what did he say, Canada just ignores the question altogether.

He never really asks a lot, so he doesn't bug him a lot about it, because maybe he'll crack. Whatever Canada keeping a secret, he knows that he can't keep for a long, he's a nice guy, and whatever he's trying to keep it will eat him up inside and soon he'll tell him but he didn't want Canada to beat himself over a small thing like this.

Maybe he'll tell.

I don't know what is all this about hopefully, I guess some closure cause I'll hate to think that America hates me and I won't be comfortable living on my life with that nagging feeling in my gut. That voice was this always constantly telling me that he hates me and that he never wants to see me, and that's why he never visits.

Just the little demons in your head trying to tell lies but sometimes when you try to put in the truth or something logical it doesn't work, sometimes you fall for those lies after a while you start to believe them and not believe what another people say cause you think there just being nice to make you feel better about your pitiful life.

Soon I'll have to go home, but I'll have to ask my sister, where do I live because I really do not know if I live with my father's still are not, I know I'm at the age where I can live by myself as an independent person.

But I kind of screwed up about the whole timeline thing, but I really won't question it, I do not really want to question it.

Maybe I was just living with my father at the time, because I couldn't buy myself a home, you know, it's hard to get yourself a home right away.

Then all of this happened and I was dragged into the mess, I really do not know why but after a while I noticed or when I woke that there was a slight scar over the side of my head, I must have been asleep for a long time to heal before I had a chance to see it.

A really really long time. I kind of feel bad for my family and friends that had to worry about me while I was in this state of mind, probably in and out of consciousness, I'm hoping that I'll talk to them but I never did.

Maybe in the back of their head that they think that they'll never see me again, they'll never hear my voice. That's what I'm guessing I'm try not to make it sound  cliche, like those movies or those soap operas.

But you really can't with out sounding cliche or when talk about feel depressed, you kinda can't go on ranting without kinda sounding like a tumblr post.

As I look at the locket in the palm of my hand and just stared at it for a good minute or so, just until my eyes got blurry.

I blinked my eyes a couple of times before rubbing my eyes, which is kinda bad can cause irritation but hey how I'm I not to?

Before I knew it, here he was.

America.

America?

America!

"We're.... T-he hell you been?" Russia said quietly as the other staff didn't seem to notice America around. Weird but whatever it's him!

Is it?

I really can't trust my own mind.

"Hey Russia.... " America said which is voice seems very not there like dream like? I don't know if it's because I hadn't saw him in a long time or something, Probably that.

"You didn't answer my question" Russia said in a normal tone trying to not lose his shit. "I know you might be mad.... But I can explain!" America said frantically as he seems in a bit of a rush as he was standing by his bed.

"What is there to explain?" Russia said quietly before looking away but at the same time he didn't it was to way to long at this point. He is here! 

"I need to say something before times run out Russia. stop acting like a child" America said in a serious tone. "I bet you'll act the same way if someone that means a lot to you hadn't visit in weeks!" Russia raised his voice which some staff members gave him weird looks.

"Whatever..... I need to say is... " America said as he was cut off by one of the nurses walking in with clipboard in there hand. "It's time to go home Russia, as we can see you are fine and dandy enough to leave" The nurse said with a smile on there face.

"So your sister I believe will pick you up and take you home... Remember to go to the checkups to see how are you doing and to see if there is no complications" The nurse said as Russia was quite bugged that they had to interrupted at this time right now.

But he doesn't want to come off as rude or anything so he just nodded. "Any questions?" The nurse said. "No..... But thanks anyways" Russia said. "Okay!  Just to let you know in 30 minutes you can check out of here when your sister arrives" The nurse said as they smiled and walked away.

Russia looked around to see an empty chair.

We're on earth did that boy go?

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Finally I updated!

Sorry for not updating so much just the stress and lack of inspiration, Not very happy about this chapter but it's the best I can do....

So yeah I'll fix anything wrong with it later and hopefully it's alright...

Nothing more nothing less

Alright then lovelies bye!
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