Knowing The Cold Heart (Book 2)

Chapter 19 'Slowly Getting Worse'

Only when you lose something very important to you, you realize how much that person meant to you-

Time jump of 1,5 years later...

Blaze's POV

Today I am moving out of her house. We divorced officially last week but I am now moving out. I didn't have enough money to buy a house. I grabbed a few things and took them to my car.

'Keith, can I come over today?' I asked him through the phone. Our relationship wasn't good but it was better than before. He changed into a happy man because of Bella, his fiancee. 'Sorry, but Bella's parents are coming to eat over' He said. I looked at the time it was already past 7 p.m. 'Sorry, to bother you guys' I said. 'Why are you moving out so soon?' He asked me.

It was awkward being inside the home of your ex-wife. Even after the divorce, she'd find other ways to fight over nothing. First about the child support money and now about how I wasn't welcome inside her house anymore. She basically kicked me out.

'I wanted my own space' I said.

'Keith, when are we going to visit Duyon?' Bella asked him in the background. 'You know where he is?' I asked him in a hard tone. I am still searching for him because I want to apologize for everything I did to him 3.5 years ago. But I couldn't find him anywhere.

'Yes, but I will not tell you where he is' He said in an angry tone. ' I need to apologize to him, Keith' I said in a hopeless tone. 'You only are looking for him because of Suli. Now because you have nothing, you need him' He said in an angry tone.

True, I lost everything. My company, wife, and child. My company went bankrupt because of financial problems. I have to pay every sponsor back because they own me now the money they lost. So I have to pay Suli and her father back because they were my sponsors. I already paid the other sponsors back by selling my building and some of the artwork we had hanging.

The problem is that I can't buy a house because I have to pay them back. That's all the money I have. If I give them the money than I will be homeless. I only have my car and some expensive clothing I can sell, in order to get money out of it.

'Yes, I need him but that's not only why I want to see him' I said. 'Blaze, think good about how much you've hurt him. I can't imagine how much he hates you for the pain you gave him' Keith said in an angry tone. Why does he always get angry when I talk about Duyon?

After the phone call ended, I decided to ride to Duyon's house. I went there for a couple of times but he didn't answer the door. It looked like he didn't live there anymore.

I didn't have the keys because I already gave the keys back when I grabbed my last things.

After an hour drive to his house, I parked my car in front of his villa. The house looked empty, the lights were always off and the plants grew longer around his backyard. It was a sign he didn't live here.

I stared at his house, remembering the good memories we had together. I am really hopeless. It's exactly like Keith said. I need him because he's the only one who can help me.

I tasted depression in my life when I was at my lowest point. I felt weak and angry. Weak because I lost all my money. Angry because I was stupid for choosing Suli.

I've learned that being gay has nothing to do with your company or status. It was already too late to go back in time. I began to drink my stress and anger away. While being drunk you forget everything in your life. You relax and feel at ease.