Knowing The Cold Heart (Book 2)

Chapter 27 'Can We'

If you are afraid, that doesn't mean you can't do certain things. Being afraid means that you don't know how or why you are feeling this way. That's why you need to accept that you are afraid and move on. Never be ashamed of it -

(Picture above is Duyon and Blaze)

Blaze's POV

I sat on the couch waiting for Duyon to come. I didn't want to wait in his car because I knew how awkward the ride home would be. I know he will be angry with me for doing my own things instead of listening to him.

I began to feel anxious because of the time. I stood up from the couch to walk to the fridge. I need alcohol to feel relaxed. I opened the fridge to find only food in there. Where were all my beers I brought yesterday?

I went to the garbage can to see if he threw them away. He did but not only did he threw my beer away but he made sure he opened them and pouted all the liquid into the drain. So I wouldn't drink them.

He had a wine cabinet in the kitchen but everything was gone. Where did he put the wine? It wasn't in the garbage can. I searched the whole kitchen but couldn't find any wine bottles.

I began to feel angry and nervous. I need alcohol to relax, to feel at ease, and to forget all of the mess I created. My heart began to beat faster and I was sweating a lot. I saw something in front of me. ''What's that?" I asked out loud but nobody was answering. After I looked around the kitchen, I began to hear footsteps. Without even thinking I walked to the living room.

''Duyon!'' I called for him but no reply. I began to see and hear things when nothing is in the house. it's almost two days since I didn't drink and it was affecting my brain.

I sat on the couch looking at the white ceiling. How will this stop?

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the sound. It was silent for a minute before I heard some ticking sound. I still had my eyes closed trying to tell myself I wasn't hearing things. This needs to stop.

The door opened. ''Blaze!'' I heard Duyon call for me in a soft tone. I knew this was also fake because every sound I heard wasn't there. My eyes were still closed, if I open them and Duyon isn't there, that means I've lost my mind.

''What's the matter?" I heard him ask me in a worried tone before I felt a hand on my shoulder. I slowly opened my eyes to see if he really was there. And there he was looking down at me with a worried expression mixed with anger.

''Why didn't you answer me back?'' He asked this time in a much harsher tone while looking into my disordered eyes.

''I need alcohol'' I screamed while taking my hands into my hair, pulling it hard. ''Calm down, Blaze!'' Duyon screamed at me while taking my hands from my hair.

''Please calm down. We need to talk but looking at your state right now. It's better to do that tomorrow'' He said in a calm tone before sitting next to me. I looked at his worried expression before taking his left hand into mine. I missed touching him like this.

''Blaze, you are sweating a lot'' He said in a worried tone before whipping the sweat off my face with his other hand. ''How are you feeling?'' He asked me in a serious tone while looking directly into my eyes. Why is acting like this when I fucked up?

He needs to scream at me. Tell me how much he hates me and how he always cleans my mess up. Why is he so kind to me when I don't deserve it?

''Awful'' I replied back while looking at his eyes. I took his hand and kissed it while looking at his shocked expression. I needed to feel his warm body temperature because it's calming me down.