Chapter 40

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Previously.

Please tell me you're not serious." He said above whisper looking right into my soul and I can't help but stare right back, still can't believe that he's still the same Vincent whom I thought loves me unconditionally and who's willing to do everything for me.

What if he doesn't really love me and what if he is cheating at me from the very first?.

Present.

Venessa's P.O.V

Looking at the man in front of me, I can't help but feel heartbroken. He looks tired, his eyes bloodshot red, and has bags around them. He held my arms, looking at me helplessly with his shoulders slumped. I want to help him, help him lessen his agony, and help him ease his pain. But what about my pain?

"Please don't leave. Let me explain please." He begged but I don't want to listen to him. I don't want to hear his excuses because I know that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from giving in to him.

I turned my back and picked the bag full of my clothes. "Please, tell me what can I do to make you stay?" He questioned, blocking my way but it's all too late.

"Do nothing, Vincent. Just let me go!" I exclaimed, raising my voice and trying to push him out of the way but he didn't even bulge.

"No!, I won't let you fucki** leave so stop this nonsense right now!", he boomed, taking the bag aggressively from me and grabbing my shoulders so rough that I can't help but wince.

First Andrew and now him. I looked up at him clearly scared. You don't wanna mess with Vincent whenever he's angry. I always know not to go anywhere near him whenever he's having a tantrum.

"Why? What more do you want?!", I screamed back pushing his hands away from me gaining some confidence. "I can't do this anymore. Not with you.", I added feeling my eyes welled up.

He looks at me with disbelief written on his face. I have the right to be angry and I have the right to leave.

"Let me explain, please.", he requested but I held my hand up not wanting to hear more from him. I want some time away from you.

"You don't have to explain anything, Vincent". I answered ready to go,ready to be away from him. "Just tell me something that I can do to make you stay, please, my love" he begged, making me stop in my track and turned to look at him and say the words I never thought I would say to him.

"If I said that leaving the mafia can make me stay. Will you do that?" I mumbled.

He stared at me as if he couldn't believe that I just told him to leave the mafia. I know how important the mafia is for him but I don't know why I said it maybe because I'm tired not able to go out without bodyguards, tired of always thinking what if someone attacks tonight, or tired of always feeling unsafe and scared.

By looking at his expression, I already got my answer,making a sigh escaped from my lips, ''Sort out yourself first and come back to me when you finally realise that I'm not someone you can take for granted anytime you want and when you do, I would be waiting with my arms with open.'' I whispered willing myself not to cry. He stood there with his hands fisted, jaw clenched tight and veins popping out.

''Until then, I'd like to be alone and heal myself'' I added turning my back away from him. It's unbelievable how love gave someone the power to break you into million pieces. Leaving someone is difficult but sometimes it needs to be done.

As I walk out of the door, Vincent made no effort to stop me which I'm really grateful but at the same time devastated. And just as I stepped a foot outside the room, I could hear him throwing things around and screaming. I hate to go especially at this moment where we need each other but I want to be away for some time, away from him, I know I'm being selfish but I'm tired, tired of being taken for granted.

I thought he was different. With him, he makes me feel wanted and loved. He made me believe that I can be happy but at the same time, as I give myself all to him I didn't even realise that I'm now nothing without him and that is what I used to fear the most. I knew that this day would come but not this early. It's been only six months.

*****

Now laying on the bed watching the sun rise, I can't even close my eyes just for a second as images of him kissing that girl keeps flashing inside my head.

After leaving Vincent's estate, I took a cab despite Chris's plead to take me wherever I want. It was pretty late but luckily I found one. I got no one to go so I decided to come here to Mario's house where the door is always open for me.

The moment I rang their doorbell, Mario and lynda immediately came to open the door with their pajamas still on and when I apologized that I woke them up Mario replied saying they were already awake as Vincent called earlier and said that I would be coming over, which really surprised me because I didn't even told anyone and I wasn't even sure that I'll be coming here until I passed the diner which reminded me of them.

I don't like to be a burden for them, I planned to stay only for a night but looking at Mario, he's getting old and fragile. His condition is really getting worse so I decided to stay with them as Mario insisted in that way I can help Lynda take care of him. Plus I'm thinking of working again in the diner as Mario is too sick to go.

Shoving Vincent out of my head, I get up to get ready for the day. I just wish all of this is just a nightmare but unfortunately it's not. It's the sad reality.

Until then...



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