Spiderwoman

26

1st Person

"You know, Stark, I seem to recall a bet we made a while ago that you haven't fulfilled."

"Oh?" He answered without even looking up, as I lifted my head from the nano processor I was working on and smirked.

"Yeah, you know, the one where I was so much stronger than you, so I said you would have to feed the homeless."

"Are you sure you're remembering that right, kid?"

"Well, if I'm not, we can always ask Friday for confirmation. Hey Fri-"

"Alright, alright."

~Time skip brought to you by my new appreciation of ThorBruce~

I stepped out of the car, dragging Tony out as he put on his sunglasses. "Alright, we go in, get some mash potatoes on a plate or two, then leave."

"Whatever you say, Old Man."

"Hey." He narrowed his eyes at me and I smirked.

"Dani! It's good to see you, you haven't been in a while." The woman who ran the homeless shelter came over to me and I hugged her.

"Hi Claire."

"What took you so- is that Tony Stark?"

"The one and only."

20 minutes later, Tony and I were laughing as we served mash potatoes.

"I can't believe you got Vision to tell you that."

"Well, persuasion is one of my many superpowers."

"Oh, and what are the others?"

"Heightened senses, depression, enhanced speed, agility and stamina, yo mama jokes-"

"Hold up. Did you just say yo mama jokes?"

"Well I'm an orphan so they can't say anything back."

"Ok, that was depressing, but I've got an actually funny joke for you."

"Is it my life?"

"What? No it-"

"The American Government? Our education system? Existence?"

"Ok, first kid, it's a knock knock joke. And second, I think we need to put you in therapy because I'm seriously concerned."

"I'm good. Go ahead with your joke."

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

He randomly pulled a lemon out of his pocket. "Lemon."

"Lemon who?"

"Lemon." He pulled out another one.

"Lemon who?"

"Lemon." And another one.

"Lemon who?"

"Orange." He pulled an orange out of his other pocket and I sighed.

"Orange who?"

"Orange you glad I didn't say lemon?" There was blank silence for a moment. I closed my eyes and blinked very slowly. I took a deep breath in and turned to Tony.

"I hate you. I have a strong, deep hatred of you. Who wants an orange from Tony Stark's pants pocket?"

I grabbed the orange and threw it to a guy a foot away from me. "What the hell are we gonna do with all of these lemons now?"

"When life gives you-"

"Nope. Nopity nope nope. Forget I said anything. You can wait in the car."

There was silence for a moment and I lifted my head to just look at Tony. "Have you been planning that joke all day?"

"No."

"So, you just so happened to have a bunch of lemons and an orange in your pocket because..." I motioned for him to continue.

"In case I wanted a snack."

"Really? Go on then."

"What?"

"Eat some of that lemon." I held up on of the lemons in front of his face.

"You know, I'm actually not that hungry right now so-"

"Eat the lemon, Stark."

He looked at the lemon and then back to me as I stood with an expectant look on my face.

He pursed his lips and took the lemon from my hand. "Alright, it's a lemon, how hard can it be right?"

"Right." I smirked.

He bit into the lemon and spit it out straight after. "If you want a snack next time, bring a bag of chips."

(A/N this is kinda a weird filler chapter sorry but the next one is gonna be a bit more exciting and after that we get into some good stuff)