My Story: Kelly

Chapter 68

Kelly Brown- Williams 1994
March ~

'Wait what?' Kim questioned me as it soon turned into a laughter 'It's not April fools day as yet, stop playing with me......'

'Don't you think I know that?' I got all serious

'Shit!' Her laughter died down 'you're being serious?'

'Yes' I said

'With who.....Nick?' She questioned 'I swear to god that boy ain't up to no good-'

'No-' I stopped her from talking 'it wasn't Nick......'

'Then who?' She questioned me

Here we go.........

'You know........that time when I told you I went out for a walk and told you I was with Mary?.......' Kim nodded her head 'well, I went out for a walk and.....um........saw my history teacher and we um.......you know..........'

'I should slap you right now, but that's not gonna reverse the situation' she muttered to herself 'I don't care what he did or how but all I know is that's a fucking rape!'

'No he didn't rape me' I tried to defend him

'No, I don't care, he has no business having a relationship with you. He should be teaching you history, not teaching you what his thang thang can do!' she raised her voice my not to loud to scare me

'You are fucking 18- just 18, he's a grown ass man and I told you to not let him take any advantage of you and look what you made him do!'

'But I don't understand, I used protection, so I don't-'

'Was it a new or old condom he used?' Kim questioned

'It was new, he showed me the date and everything' I said wondering how the fuck he got his sperm in me

'Were there any punctured holes in it?' She asked

'Nope?' I said

'He slipped it off during sex then' she automatically thought

'How the fuck can you do that?' I asked

'Men have ways, men do that shit and it's scary he probably did that too you' she said 'did it feel different at one point when he was......you know.......'

'Well I was lost in the moment, I didn't really know.......'

'It's a Rape, I swear to god Imma kick his ass......'

'Wait till DeVante finds out about this' I muttered under my breathe

Since he said he didn't want anyone else to hurt me, if I do tell him what's up, since he thinks he knows what's going on, he's gonna end up killing someone.

'Who's gonna find out about this, I know for a fact mom gonna know-'

'NO YOU CAN'T TELL HER!' I shouted

'Why, Kelly this is your life, you can't keep that inside you and not do anything about it' she said

'She just can't know' I said

'Well how are we gonna solve this problem?' She asked 'I know first we gotta abort this fetus that is growing inside you quickly before it's too late'

'Abort it?' I said to myself

'Yes abort it!' Kim looked at me as if I was crazy 'you know how fucking crazy you'll look, carrying a grown ass man's baby at the age of 18 and he's probably hitting thirty?'

'I know but-'

'BUT WHAT KELLY!' Kim started to yell at me 'you're gonna keep this baby, resulting in you dropping out. He's already got an education, he's not going to loose his job because he's not the one carrying a baby.....you are. You'll drop out so you can look after his child, you'll have no education, it will be hard for you to get employment......is that what you want? Is that the life you really want to strive for? How the hell are you going to take care of a baby and you can't even take care of your damn self? You have suicidal thoughts, you slit your wrists......don't act like I don't know that, you throw tantrums at us and from time to time you won't even let us know what's happening with you, but you want to be doing up teen pregnancy........do you think that's what your mom wants from you-'

'DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT MY MOM!' I screamed at her as I felt a lump form in my throat

'WELL I GOTTA HIT IT WHERE IT HURTS!' She shouted back

'GET OUT!' I screamed

'Fine, I'll fucking get out, but if you decide to have that baby, you're on your own with this one' and with that said, she closed the door

I picked up the test and threw it at the wall as tears came flooding from my eyes. She was right- everything she said was right. I wasn't planning on having no baby, I'm just scared that I'll regret it. I don't want it to be another guilt I hold onto because I've killed another person. I know I didn't kill my mom physically, but I let it happen, I wasn't there, I let him kill her......she died. I don't want to have to abort a child then live with the rest of my life knowing that I killed it.

But at the same time, I would be quickly killing the child by having it. I can't take care of myself, I'm a mess, bringing the baby into the world and I could cause so much harm to the child when I didn't mean to. Plus I don't want my child to have the same experience I had to go through. The baby shouldn't live in a broken home where either one of the parents don't care to be there for their child. They should be here 24/7, no matter what issues they are going through........

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