Complicated | Calum Hood (Sequel to Unexpected)

4.

An: hey friends, everybody still doing okay? Sorry if things aren't going the way you want them to in the story. Don't give up on the story, don't give up on Calsie 🖤

Cal

For the first time in six months when I wake up the next morning there's a woman in my bed. Not just any woman, Jes. My Jes. I roll over and stare at her, trying not to feel creepy for watching her sleep.

She looks so peaceful at first glance, but I know her, really know her. I know her enough to notice the way her eyes are more puffy than usual, with small dark circles that were never there before. She's not been getting enough sleep, and she's been crying. I notice the way her face is scrunched up when it used to be relaxed as she slept, I wonder if she's still having nightmares.

I want to wake her up to ask her, but I'm afraid when she wakes up the bubble will burst. She'll realize what she's done, call last night a mistake, and flee. I don't know if my heart can take her leaving me again.

I can't help myself from running my fingers through her hair in the way I know she loves. Her face shifts to a smile as I continue, she snuggles closer to me and I let my thoughts trail back to last night.

It had taken me all night to muster the courage to cross the floor and ask her to dance with me. She'd been hesitant and worried about the people watching us I hadn't given a thought to anyone but her. I'd honestly expected her to put up more of a fight but I was thrilled when she'd taken my hand.

Holding her was a new kind of euphoria, a rush I'd forgotten and had only dreamed to ever feel again. I'd always loved the way her body fit next to mine, the way her hair always smelled like vanilla, and that when I held her I felt at ease, like everything would be okay. Fuck, I'd missed her.

We'd danced for a long time last night, only leaving when it was time for the venue to be cleaned and they'd asked everyone to leave. Jes had looked to me and asked if she and Paisley could crash at my house, a fifteen minute drive instead of a forty five minute one. I'd agreed embarrassingly quick.

She'd come back into my life so effortlessly, would she stay this time? I was terrified to even hope for that, instead I vowed to soak up every second I was given, knowing I wasn't promised the next with her.

She begins to stir in her sleep beside me and I quickly clamp my eyes shut in an effort to hide the fact I've been watching her.

"I know you're awake, Cal." She whispers. "It's not nice to stare."

"I dunno what you're talking about." I mumble back faking sleepiness. She only rolls to face me and give me a pointed look that tells me she knows I'm lying. I feel a blush creep into my cheeks as I break our stare.

"That's the best I've slept in a while." She says so quietly I almost don't hear it. Like she's embarrassed, or maybe scared, to admit it.

"I know. Me too." I say quickly. "Are your nightmares back?" I bite my lip and look away, nervously anticipating her response.

She's quiet for a long while before she moves closer to my chest and I feel her nod her head against me. I don't say anything just tightening my arms around her slightly, trying to protect her now, like I'd failed to do then.

I knew Lena had been dishonest. I blew her phone up constantly for information on Jes, I just always needed to know they were okay. She had promised me they were doing fine, she told me Jes' nightmares, triggered from Mark's break in, had stopped, that she and Paisley were happy. I did my best to keep myself away because I thought that she was moving on and wanted this. Had I completely misread everything?

"Jes..." I start. "When you left me, your letter said you needed time to find yourself, to find a way to be happy. I thought I made you happy...why didn't I make you happy?" I sound pitiful. My voice full of sadness and desperation but I can't help it. I've never been this heartbroken, and I don't know how to get past this.

•

Jes

I don't know how to explain myself to Calum. There were so many factors that led to me taking off my engagement ring.

"You did make me happy, Calum. You still make me happy."

"That can't be true Jes. If I made you happy I wouldn't have come home to a note on the counter along with your fucking ring. Do you know how shit that was? One day everything is fine, we're planning our wedding in a sunflower field in June, making plans for our daughter and the kids we want to have, and the next you're breaking up with me. Tell me how that makes sense? Make it make sense Jes. It's literally killing me."

"You were, no, you are the best part of my life. You gave me Paisley and showed me how amazing love could be. You showed me that I was worthy of love and you gave me a beautiful life."

"Then why the fuck aren't we together?" He pleads.

It's breaking my heart to see him like this. He's such a calm and happy go lucky guy and I've turned him into this sad shell of himself. It's all my fault and I know that, but I never meant to. The guilt of it has eaten away at me every time Lena has shown me pictures or videos of him the last few months.

"I was trying to protect you."

"From what Jes? I promise you Jes whatever you thought you were protecting me from can't hurt me more than you have."

His words sting, because I know they're true.

"Calum," I start and then try to determine how to continue. I decide it's best if I just spit it out. "Mark came back."

"Wh-what?" The shock on his face is evident and I wish I knew a better way to tell him everything I need to, but I don't, so I guess this will have to do.

"This time I didn't hear him come in. This time I didn't escape to the neighbors. This time he found me."

An: this is super short but super important

Ily
Sav 🖤