Complicated | Calum Hood (Sequel to Unexpected)

25.

Jes

"Jes?" I hear my name echo through our house but I can't force myself from my bed. It's like I've lost all control of my body.

I hear the door open and I can sense that someone has come in, but I don't look. I feel the bed dip down beside me and I'm immediately enveloped in the familiar scent of Calum. My body instinctively shifts towards him allowing him to wrap his arms around me as I fall apart.

"Mommy no cry." My head snaps up as I realize we aren't alone. I peel my baby off of Cal and clutch her to my chest. Rocking back and forth trying to soothe her or myself, I'm not sure which.

I want to be strong. I want to be okay, but right now that's not possible. Calum's eyes are filled with hurt and fear. A mixture I haven't seen often and could do without seeing again. I know he's worried about me, fuck, I'm worried about me.

As much as I want to just lay in bed and wallow in my sadness over the loss of our baby. I have a living baby who needs me too, and I've got to pull myself together for her.

I sit up bringing P with me and wander into the living room. I tell her to go find me a book to read to her and she scampers off. I turn my head to look at Cal to find him already looking at me.

"We're gonna be okay, right?" I hear myself ask.
He closes the space between us quickly. Slipping his arms around me and pulling me towards his chest.

"We're gonna get through this, Jes. We'll be okay." I need his affirmation, his confirming words that somehow all of this will pass. We'll never forget it, but we'll be happy again someday. I shut my eyes and tighten my grip around his arms.

"You ok?" He mumbles against the top of my head.

"Hurts." I say softly waiting for it to pass. It does just in time for Paisley to run back to us and crawl onto the couch waiting for her story. We join her on the sofa and I put her in my lap. Opening the book and taking one small step towards being okay.

•

Cal

The first week passes slowly. Jes is literally the strongest person I've ever met. She spends the whole week in pain, never complaining, until the whole ordeal finally ends. We haven't spoken to our friends, though they've called us nearly everyday. I've updated them enough so they know we're alive but they've got no idea what's happened.

Today we have to face them. Micheal and Crystal have invited everyone over for dinner. We've been hiding and I know it hasn't gone unnoticed.

We've spent less time crying each day but we're still pretty distraught. Jes has convinced herself the miscarriage is her fault and she's been spewing nonsense, worried we'll never be able to have more kids. I don't know what to say to her.

"Babe? You almost ready?" I call, using two fingers to knock lightly on the bedroom door.

"Yeah, I guess." She says stepping from the closet and shutting the double doors. "Does this look alright?"

"You look beautiful as always, love." I say stepping forward. I take her hand and spin her around before pulling her close to me and pecking her lips. It's warm out today for February so she's picked a yellow dress with a small flower pattern and a jean jacket. She's paired it with white slip on Vans and just as I had said, she looks beautiful.

"Did you get PK changed?" She asks and I just nod.

"She's downstairs playing with Duke. She's ready."

She nods. "I guess we can head out then." She takes a deep breath and looks away and I wonder what she's thinking. Usually it's so easy for me to read her but with this I've been lost. Maybe it's because it's so personal, how someone deals with grief, it's not easy to comprehend how someone else is dealing with it.

I take her hand, squeezing it just enough to silently tell her I'll always be here for her. Her lips hint of a smile her acknowledgment of my gesture.

We grab PK from the living room and pet Duke before moving to the garage and entering the car. I reach across the console for her hand after we pull out of the garage. I rub small circles across the back of it as we make the short drive to the Clifford's.

"Hey" I say as we walk up the front walk, using my grip on her hand to spin her to face me. "I love you. Everything is going to be fine. They're our friends and they're worried about us."

"I don't want to ruin tonight. If they specifically ask just say I had a health issue but everything is fine now. Be vague. I'm still hurt and embarrassed and I don't want them to know. If they guess, don't lie, but I'd rather just keep it to ourselves if at all possible." I nod slowly, not completely on board with keeping things from our friends but I want to do as she wishes.

I ring the doorbell and turn my attention to P who's standing beside me holding my hand. She's on an independence kick today and refused to let me carry her. Everyone else's cars are here already so I'm not surprised to hear loud laughter and chatter from inside with Crystal answers the door.

"Hey guys! Glad you could make it! Everyone's in the  kitchen!" We step past her offering hellos and hugs before joining the rest of our friends.

"Ashy!" Paisley squeals running over to her Godfather.

"Bug! Look how big you're getting! I haven't seen you in weeks." She giggles and kisses his cheek. I try not to be annoyed that she let Ash hold her when she wouldn't let me do it earlier.

He spins her around and I let my jealousy fade, just glad someone is doing something with her outside of the crying and sadness that has filled our house the past week.

I take a seat on a barstool, Jes coming to stand between my legs, half seated on my lap as she leans against me. There's a nervous energy in the room, everyone seems to want to ask but no one has the courage to do so. Instead, we dissolve into conversation on meaningless topics and our band schedule. We've been off for nearly six months with only minor headway made on the album. All of our focus has been elsewhere, but we need to start thinking about our next record more seriously.

We're in the studio five days a week for the next two months. Hopefully, we can pull something together and start thinking about promo and touring. The only thing we have on the books right now is a few festivals this summer. We've got to do better if we want to stay relevant.

We drop the work talk when the food arrives. They had ordered from some vegan place Crys loves and we all fix our plates and dig in.

"So guys we've actually got some news for you." Micheal starts and all of our attention settles on him and Crystal who he's moved to put his arms around. "We, are going to have a baby!"

I freeze, I feel all of the color drain from my face and I turn slowly to look at Jes. She's forced a smile as best she can and we both stay silent as everyone else offers congratulations.

"Well, shit. No point in keeping it a secret now." Luke says smiling. "Sierra's pregnant too."

Shit.

I turn back to look at Jes and she's no longer in the chair beside me.

An: Ugh this story is making me emotional af rn and I know what all is going to happen 😩

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Sav 🖤