Complicated | Calum Hood (Sequel to Unexpected)

47.

33 weeks

Cal

"I think I finally get it now. Why you were always so miserable when you were away from your girls."

"Oh yeah?" I ask quietly, turning to Luke.

He's standing near the window of his living room. Levi tucked carefully in his arms. Sierra is upstairs resting, still recovering from the major surgery she'd undergone last week.

"Yeah, I've only known him for four days but I just want to hold him, like all the time."

I laugh and feel the smile appear on my face. I love watching my best friend's become dads. Being a father is such a huge part of my life and I love that I get to share that with them now.

"I was like that, shit, I'm still like that. I hate being away from PK. Having a kid, it just changes everything. Your priorities just shift. I know the band has always been all of ours dream but when PK was born I gained a second dream, my family."

"Maybe we all have new dreams."

"Yeah." I say softly letting the weight of what this conversation holds take over. " I don't want the band to end, that's not what I'm saying."

"I don't either. This is what I'm meant to do. But maybe we do things a little differently now that we have these little ones depending on us."

"I could be on board for that. I'm sure Mikey will feel the same he's barely left Phoenix's side in the last two months."

"I'm sorry we didn't understand before. I'm sorry we didn't delay the tour when Pais was born, I'm sorry we weren't sympathetic when you were missing her. I didn't know it felt like this."

"You don't until you experience it." I shrug, staring out the window at the view of LA.

"Doesn't matter. I'm still sorry." He says looking over to me.

"Thanks man. I've enjoyed this little heart to heart but I really just came to hold my nephew. "

"Oh, I see how it his." He smiles down at the baby sleeping in his arms. "Alright little man, go to uncle Cal." He passes Levi over, cradling his head and shifting him to my arms.

I've forgotten what it's like to hold a newborn. To hold something so fragile and reliant on you. Levi squirms and opens his eyes, blinking furiously while giving me a glare.

"He's like a tiny, grumpy, old man." I laugh, Luke joining in.

"He makes the funniest faces. Sierra and I have been cracking up, I think he definitely inherited the meme face from me unfortunately."

"How is she?"He runs his hands across his face seemingly looking for the words.

"She's doing...okay I guess? She cries like, constantly and she's still recovering from the C-section. She has to have a ton of help from me and I think she feels like a burden or like she's not doing her part as the mum. I keep telling her she's doing great and that she shouldn't be so hard on herself."

"Has she told her doctor? I remember when Jes was pregnant I read all those baby books and that sounds like the baby blues."

"No, I didn't think it was that serious. Should I call him?" He asks his eyebrows furrowed together.

"I would. It can't hurt to at least let him know what's going on. If it continues it can turn into post-partum depression."

"Fuck."

He squeezes the space between his eyes with his thumb and forefinger but nods. Levi begins to whimper in my arms and I change his position so he's resting against my shoulder.