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Jes

"I'm glad we did this." I whisper to Cal as he comes to sit next to me bringing with him a steaming cup of mint hot chocolate, my favorite drink for cold weather. He hums in agreement as he throws the blanket on the couch over us and I move closer to snuggle into his side. We watch silently as Paisley plays on the floor with all of the toys she was spoiled with today by our friends and family. She'd spent hours on the play set in the backyard that Cal and I had gotten her, earlier today.

Calum's parents, who had decided to stay through the new year, had gone to bed earlier, leaving my Dad and Christina, who were staying in one of our guest room's tonight, and Mali in the living room with us. Mali lays across the carpeted floor helping Pais to dress her new baby doll.

"I never got to thank you, you know." Christina says, her voice cutting through the silence that was previously only broken by Paisley's little comments and the crackle of the warm fire. I shoot her a gaze showing my clear confusion. "For including me, in your wedding day." She says softly and I push a soft smile onto my face.

"It was nothing Chrissy. You've been a mother to me since the day I met you, you answered my million and one questions about pregnancy and babies when I was freaking out before P was born, you've been there for me every time I've called, exactly like my mother would have. I don't know, I'd like to think she had a hand in sending you to dad, to us. I know she just wanted us to be happy, even if she wasn't able to find her happiness in this lifetime and I think she would have loved you. The same way I do. I'm really glad my dad finally asked you to marry him." I reach across the small divide and squeeze her hand but seeing her tear stained face, I get up and hug her before retaking my seat on the couch.

"I love you too, Jes."

Cal squeezes my shoulder with the arm he has wrapped around me as I dab the tears from my eyes. I hadn't expected this conversation to get so deep but I am glad I got to speak to Christina about this. My dad had told me that her hesitancy about them getting engaged was centered around her fear that I would resent her for trying to replace my mother but that couldn't be farther from the truth.

My mom wouldn't want us to be miserable and my dad to be alone for the rest of his life. She'd want us to find happiness and Chrissy made my dad as happy as I had seen him since my mom had left us. He deserved that much and I meant it when I said she would have liked Christina.

"Jes, just buy the test. You're a big girl you can do this." Cal's voice sounds encouragingly through the phone.

I wish he didn't sound so lighthearted right now. He doesn't understand that the last two pregnancy tests I had taken had broken my heart. When I had pictured my family I had always imagined my kids being close in age and the best of friends. Paisley was already almost two and both Cal and I were ready to grow our family.

A few months wasn't really a long time to have been trying but after getting pregnant in one night last time, I hadn't expected us to have any problems. Calum swore we just hadn't given it enough time and I tried to keep his words in mind as I grabbed the early detection test from the shelf, the baby products on the aisle seeming to mock me as I walk past. At least this time there seemed to be signs pointing in the right direction, I was already late.

The whole drive home I try to think positive thoughts. This time will be different, this time all the signs are there. This time I'll be pregnant. Calum is waiting for me in the kitchen, a warm cup of hot chocolate waiting for me to help knock off the chill of mid-January. He greets me with a kiss and a moment in his warm embrace.

"You're nervous." He says, it's not a question just an observation. I nod and he tightens his grip. "Don't be nervous baby. It's nothing to stress about, you are or you aren't. If you aren't we'll try again."

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