Complicated | Calum Hood (Sequel to Unexpected)

39.

20 weeks

Jes

The doctor's office smells sterile. Everything about this office gives me anxiety. After our last pregnancy and the follow up's here to confirm everything it seemed that everywhere I looked brought up memories I didn't want to remember. 

I know the baby is fine. I feel them moving all the time now. Cal is jealous because he hasn't been around to feel any of the movements or kicks. It's driving him crazy.

"I'm nervous." I say, looking over to Cal who's playing with the containers on the counter and spinning on the doctor's stool. 

"Why? Everything's fine. We have nothing to worry about baby. Have you been taking your medicine? You've been awfully worrisome lately."

"Yes, Calum." I huff. "I'm taking my fucking medicine."

"I'm just asking, Jessie." 

"Sounds more like accusing. I can worry without being crazy."

"Jesus, Jes. I just asked a simple question, you don't have to jump down my throat."

I don't get a chance to respond as the doctor enters. I don't know why his question bothered me so much. I guess since my anxiety is something that makes me feel weak I don't appreciate my behavior being linked with it. It's perfectly normal for an expectant mom to be nervous, especially considering what we've been through. I hate that Calum had made me feel insecure in my feelings. I was used to feeling supported from him and I didn't like the change.

"Hi folks!" The ultrasound technician greets us as he takes a seat on the stool Cal had vacated.

"You guys ready to find out what the little one is?"

"Yeah" I say softly. I'm still excited but Calum's words had negatively affected my mood. 

I lift my shirt for the jelly and wait for the cold substance to hit my skin. I'm expecting it but it still surprises me and I flinch from the sensation.

The technician moves the probe around for a moment before settling in one spot when the rushing sound of our babies heart fills the small room. I can't fight my tears. My emotions on overload and  the last few minutes have had them all over the place. Cal places his hand in mine, he can sense I'm upset, I know because his touch is cautious, guarded, like he's scared even his physical contact will set me off.  

"Baby's heart sounds strong and healthy. Let's see if little one will cooperate..." I squeeze Calum's hand. It's my way of apologizing for being moody and telling him I love him without saying anything. "Ah yes, okay. Do you want to know?" The technician asks.

Cal and I look at each other and nod. We had done the whole gender reveal thing with our first kid, this time we just wanted to know.

"Okay, its a boy!"

I laugh and Calum's face bursts into the biggest cheesy grin.

"I'm two for two." He says laughing, bending down to press his lips to mine. The tech checks for any abnormalities but tells us she sees no reason for concern. Dr. Mays sweeps in for a quick check and then we're free to schedule our next appointment and leave. 

"I'm sorry for upsetting you before, I didn't mean to."

"I know. I'm sorry for overreacting. You know how I am right now. Your kid is making me crazy."

"I just worry about you." He says, his eyes softening as he looks at me. "I want to make sure you're taking care of yourself. I want you to be healthy, and happy, and here for our kids."