Ereri - A Loving Mistake - Eren x Levi - Attack on Titan Yaoi

A Savior and first love.

(Trigger warning. mild SH, Ana, Assault, etc.)

Armin sat in the dark, on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands, shaking uncontrollably.

Ever since he had confessed, there was one thing on his mind- Eren.

It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair, it wasn't fair.

Everytime he saw Eren, it was like being stabbed in the chest, knowing he never even had a chance. He remembered passing Eren in the halls, and the way he just wanted to grab his hand, and hold him... And then Levi would show up. During history class, all Levi and Eren did was discreetly stare at eachother, and everytime they were together, their faces lit up. Armin had never seen Eren so happy before. And he felt horrible. He didn't like it. He felt... almost disgusted, in a way, every time Levi was anywhere near Eren. Yeah, it was jealousy, but Armin felt so selfish. He didn't want to make Eren unhappy... He just wanted Eren to be his, and his alone. But he knew Levi was the only one who could ever make Eren's eyes light up the way they do, Levi was the only one who Eren loves, Levi... Levi is Eren's whole god damn world, and Armin had been completely and utterly rejected.

Honestly, he was so... so tired of putting on a fake smile, so tired of pretending to be a cheery, innocent little kid. He couldn't take anymore of that bullshit. Everyone treated him like a weak little animal, not a human! Every time he spoke up, people would just laugh at him, act like everything he said was completely irrelivant. When he looked in the mirror, all he saw was an ugly, useless, helpless, good for nothing pice of shit child. 

Armin stood, wiping away the hot tears on his cheeks. He didn't want to lie anymore.

Turning on the lights, he walked over to the mirror on the wall, staring at himself. He looked dead. It was how he always looked. What he saw in that mirror... He hated it. 

He hesitantly pulled his shirt over his head, leaving him shivering in just his boxers, staring sadly at his reflection.

His whole body was freakishly pale and his rib cage was clearly defined. He wasn't really underweight, but, he wasn't muscular, and he was thin, and too curvy and too ugly...

Armin worked out all the time, and almost ate himself sick at times... He didn't understand why he couldn't put on weight. Just seeing his own body nearly reduced him to tears. Just looking at his face disgusted him. No wonder Eren wouldn't love him. No wonder he was rejected. No wonder Eren had been his only friend.

Yet, he knew it was all his fault that he was so... so frail. He was nothing but weak.

When they were in the third grade, he decided to have a pool party for his birthday. Armin had never thrown a party before, especially after his parents died two years before. He was finally adopted though, after being thrown around multiple orphanages and foster homes. He was so happy, even though his new parents were never home. So, he finally got to have a party. He though that, just maybe, his life would finally get better. He invited the whole class, and he had never been so excited for something in his life. Finally, maybe everyone would be friends with him!
No, he was wrong.

Everyone was there, the whole class, splashing around in the water. Armin marched out of the changing rooms, smiling, his eyes shining with enthusiasm. All his classmates were having a blast, and he thought that he would finally make some friends. 

"Hey guys! D-do you like the party!?" He asked cheerily, his long blonde hair bouncing as he rocked back and forwards on his feet nervously.

Everyone turned to face him, stopping dead in their tracks.

Suddenly, there were whispers and giggles everywhere.

"Hey, blonde loser! This is your party? I had no idea someone as stupid and ugly as you could even afford this." A boy yelled from the other side of the pool, smirking. Everyone laughed.