01: Write On

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Luna Livingston

        "Clear out your desk and don't worry about coming in tomorrow. We appreciate your hard work over the years here at Penguin Publishing, but we think it's best if we move on."

I stared up at Mrs. Winston with big, shocked eyes. I came into her office with the idea I was going to be getting promoted, not fired!

    "There's got to be some sort of mistake, right?" I asked, desperately. I'd given my best years to Penguin Publishing, I'd given them some of my best work and I just couldn't believe my ears. I never thought this day would come, at least not so soon. 

Mrs. Winston sighed and dropped her head. "Luna, dear.." She started. "When you first started here, your stories were full of life. So happy and cheerful. I don't know what happened these last couple of months." She held up my latest piece of work. "What is this? This dark mess? No one wants to read that!"

  "Mrs. Winston, those stories were all false. I want to write something true. Something I felt. That 'dark mess' you're referring to is my life. I want to share my depression with others who may understand what I'm going through." She shook her head.

"So you mean to tell me your mother really has Stage four cancer of the pancreas? And that your father really hung himself?"

I dropped my gaze from her to the floor. "Yes." 

      About a year ago, straight out of college, I accepted a job at Penguin Publishing and I thought I was on top of the world. I was never one to believe that a string of good luck meant bad things were coming, but life proved me wrong. My mother, who was the healthiest one of the family had been diagnosed with stage three pancreatic cancer out of nowhere.

My dad and I prayed for a miracle as mother went through her chemo. Endless prayers each and everyday, but none seemed to reach God's ears. Her next appointment showed the cancer had not only gotten stronger, but spread and she was now at stage four. Not being able to take it, I came home the next day to Dad hanging from a noose in the living room. I hadn't been the same since.

    "It's just not possible. There's no way you're going through all this and still coming to work." She laughed and waved me away with her hand. "Please clear out your desk, Ms. Livingston. I'd be more than happy to write you a letter of recommendation to anywhere you want. But please leave. Don't make this hard." I nodded slowly and grabbed my book from her desk and stood up.

"Thanks for the opportunity." I said lowly, hopefully so she wouldn't hear my voice cracking. I turned on my heel and led myself out of her office. 

What was I going to do now?

        As I opened my desk, I found myself just raking things carelessly into a crate. I wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible. Writing had been my passion for so long. For as long as I could remember, and now what? I felt like I was too old to start over, and I felt like I was too invested in writing to take up another trade. So what now? 

As I reached the bottom of my desk I saw something that caught my eye. It was a picture of me, I'm guessing around the time I first started work. I remember my hair was blond then, so it must've been. I noticed my small baby bump and immediately felt on my empty stomach now. I had on a casual white collar shirt and a blue khaki skirt, with my curls tied back in a fishtail braid. Why didn't I remember this? I turned the photo on its back.

         Luna,

I'm sorry I couldn't make it to your first day party, but just know I'm rooting for you even when you don't see me in the stands. You looked so cute this morning in your church skirt, so I had to snap a pic. Yes, I hid this, so when you find it, you feel motivated? I guess? Anyways, this is the moment you waited your whole life for, so make it count. Me and the baby love you forever and even after that.

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