Fifty Shades of Larry (On Hold)

FORTY

Open your eyes, Larry!

His hands shook on the wheel. His heart pounded ruthlessly against his chest threatening to tear him in half. He could feel his sanity take a backseat. It was here again.

When he finally opened his eyes, the whole road seemed to whirl around, distorting his vision. Driving him crazy. He couldn't focus. No matter how hard he tried it was not happening. It was his punishment. He was a murderer. He had taken the life of a kid whether unintentionally or not. How had he expected to find ease? Peace, too. How could he ever live a normal life?

But he was sorry. Very sorry. He was willing to do anything just to have a little bit of comfort. What did he have to do to show his sincerity? How would he prove his honesty to a dead kid? He had tried compensating the boy's family. 2 million dollars. The boy's family had been in mourning, but they had been grateful to Larry. His mother had hugged and kissed him. She had believed him.

She had said, "Go on with your life, Larry. We don't hold anything against you. Don't hold it against yourself either. Our baby is in heaven now with Jesus whom he lives so much and they're both watching over us now."

But if he was in heaven, why did Larry always see him whenever he was sat behind the wheels? Why did he have to be tortured and tormented that way if he was free to continue his life? If the kid had truly forgiven him, why did Larry feel so guilty and unforgiven?

The shaking in Larry's hands took a sudden turn and Larry's whole body began to vibrate feverishly. The A/C was turned to the highest but sweat poured from every pore in his body. His teeth chattered nonstop. In the midst of the heat burning all through his body, chills went through the very pores that were emitting sweat.

His eyes heavied him, his head spun like a wheel. A whimper of pain, frustration, and weakness escaped his mouth. His hands slowly began to stiffen on the steering wheel. He had to park. Get away from the road. Away from another possible future mistake.

But Larry was losing his mind. Everything inside him started to shut down. He could barely think anymore. Neither could he keep his eyes open.

So, he managed to reach for the ignition, switching off the engine in the middle of the road. His hands fell to his side, his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Larry let out a deafening scream before collapsing back against the seat.

***

As Laurent lay on the very small and very uncomfortable chair, he felt a surge of unease wire through his body. No matter how much he turned and turned on the chair, and how tightly he tried to shut his eyes or how hard he tried to keep his mind blank, he couldn't help but feel something was wrong somewhere.

He abruptly sat upright on the chair, resting his elbows on his knees.

Maybe it was the fight with Larry. He hated to fight, he hated the way things were between them. He wanted their relationship to not just blossom but last, too. He was ready to work things out. He would do what it takes because he was tired of nursing a broken heart. But who he wasn't sure of was Larry.

Was Larry ready to open up his heart to him? Was he ready to let Laurent love him completely and was he ready to love Laurent back because besides wanting to fix their obviously shaking relationship, Laurent wanted to be certain he wouldn't be wasting his time?

***

In the morning, Laurent got ready to finally end everything. Angela had thrown on one of the shirts he had brought which had gone all the way to her knees and now resembled a dress shirt. Her hair was wrapped in a bun. She was pretty without makeup just as she was with it.